Escape to Your Dream: Burgundian Farmhouse w/ Fireplace in Auxerre, France!
Escape to Your Dream? More Like a Glorious Burgundian Blur: Review of the Auxerre Farmhouse!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I've just wrestled a week of blissful Burgundian escape out of my memory and it's time to spill the beans (and maybe a little Beaujolais). This "Escape to Your Dream: Burgundian Farmhouse w/ Fireplace" in Auxerre, France… well, it almost lived up to the hype. Emphasis on almost. Let's dive in, shall we? Grab a baguette, this is gonna be a long one.
First Impressions (and a Tiny, Tiny Hiccup)
Picture this: winding country roads, rolling vineyards (hello, Chablis!), and then… boom. The farmhouse. Stone walls, blooming window boxes, a promise of rustic charm so thick you could spread it on toast. The exterior? Stunning. Honestly, it looked lifted straight from a postcard. My first thought? "Instagram gold!" My second? "Where's the bloody key?"
Turns out, the "contactless check-in" was a bit too contactless. A phone call sorted it, eventually, and off we went! (More on the "Check-in/out [express]" later – it was a mixed bag, let me tell you.)
Rooms: Cozy Catacombs of Comfort?
Ah, the heart of the matter: the rooms. Mine, thankfully, was NOT a catacomb. Far from it! "Available in all rooms" is accurate; air conditioning? Check. Decent internet access (Wi-Fi [free] in action!), even a "complimentary cup of tea" (which, after the key debacle, was a godsend). Bonus points for the "extra long bed" – a necessity for my ridiculously long legs.
- The Good: The "fireplace" (which, in my room, was purely decorative but still added to the ambiance), the "non-smoking rooms," the comfy "seating area" to collapse in after a day of exploring. And yes, the "blackout curtains" were essential for someone like me who suffers from extreme light sensitivity. The "private bathroom" was clean and well-appointed. The "slippers" were a nice touch!
- The Not-So-Good: Okay, the "soundproofing" wasn't quite up to par. I swear, I heard the neighbor’s rooster doing his morning serenade at 5 AM. Repeatedly. And the "mirror" in the bathroom… well, let's just say it showed me more wrinkles than I'd like to admit. I swear the "desk" felt like it was leaning slightly, which made it hard to do some work.
Also, the "interconnecting room(s) available" made me slightly envious of the families and larger groups, as I was alone – no biggie, but good to note it.
Cleanliness & Safety: Does it Measure Up to 2024 standards?
Absolutely! The "Anti-viral cleaning products" and "daily disinfection in common areas" felt reassuring, especially considering the current world climate. I also appreciated the "hand sanitizer" stations dotted around and the fact that the staff were genuinely “trained in safety protocol”. My room was indeed "sanitized between stays," and I opted not to take advantage of the "room sanitization opt-out available" because… well, why would you?
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Feast for the Senses (and Slightly Disorganized)
This is where things get… interesting. The "restaurants" offered a plethora of options. The "breakfast [buffet]" was a joy, but a little chaos. It felt like a delicious, slightly disorganized family reunion.
- The Buffet: The “Asian cuisine in restaurant” was an unusual addition (that I didn’t try), but the standard "Western breakfast," which included "coffee/tea in restaurant," was decent. A "salad in restaurant" was available when I asked.
- The Bar: The "poolside bar" was a godsend on a hot day. "Happy hour" was a lifesaver.
- The Extras: The "room service [24-hour]" came in handy (midnight snack of cheese and wine, anyone?). The "bottle of water" provided was a nice touch, and the "coffee shop" was convenient, if a tad expensive.
- The Chaos: Despite the "cashless payment service" and generally good service, the restaurant staff at times seemed overwhelmed, especially during peak hours. I ended up once waiting quite a while for a soup.
Things to Do, Ways to Relax: A Spa Day Interrupted by a Misplaced Robe
Okay, the "Spa/sauna". This was supposed to be my ultimate relaxation destination. I was so excited to wallow in a "sauna," get a "massage", and generally melt into a puddle of serenity.
- The Spa's Quirks: The "pool with view" was gorgeous, overlooking the rolling hills. However, on day one, my "bathrobes" were mysteriously missing. I eventually found them after a minor detective mission (they were not where one would expect to find them).
- The Treatments: The "body scrub" and "foot bath" services were heavenly. The "massage" was… well, let’s just say the therapist was very enthusiastic. She also spoke extremely fast, which made it difficult to understand her!
- The Gym: The "fitness center" was small but functional.
Services and Conveniences: A Mixed Bag of Wonderful & Weird
The "concierge" was helpful, but sometimes elusive. The "daily housekeeping" was a godsend, but once forgot to replace my coffee. The "doorman" was friendly. The "indoor venue for special events" seemed well-equipped, but there was no music during my stay.
- The Good: They have "Facilities for disabled guests", a "gift/souvenir shop" (perfect for last-minute presents), and "laundry service" (desperately needed!).
- The Weird: The "convenience store" was understocked and overpriced. The "luggage storage" was a bit of a free-for-all.
For the Kids: Not My Forte, But Seemed Okay
I’m not a parent, but I noticed "Babysitting service" (handy!), "Family/child friendly", and "Kids facilities", which appeared to include a small playground and activities. The "Kids meal" are available, which is good to see.
Accessibility, Getting Around, and Other Nuts & Bolts (The Mundane But Important)
"Wheelchair accessible"? Yes, it seems so, but confirm beforehand to get the best experience. "Internet access" was reliable, though I preferred the Wi-Fi. "Airport transfer" via the "taxi service" was easy.
- The Good: The "car park [free of charge]" was a major bonus.
- The Less-Good: I didn't see an "elevator," so bear that in mind if mobility is an issue.
My Final Verdict: Worth the Trip (and Potential Quirks)
Would I go back? Absolutely. Despite the minor inconveniences and slightly chaotic elements, the charm of the farmhouse, the beauty of the surroundings, and the promise of a true “escape" were enough for me to recommend this hotel. The "fireplace”, the "pool with view”, and the general ambiance more than made up for the occasional hiccup. Just pack some patience, a good book, and maybe your own bathrobe. You'll be fine.
SEO & Metadata Breakdown (because, you know, Google):
Keywords: Burgundian Farmhouse, Auxerre, France, Hotel Review, Spa, Fireplace, Relaxation, French Countryside, Travel Review, Vacation, Hotel, France Hotels, Burgundy
Metadata:
- Title: Escape to Your Dream? A (Mostly) Glorious Review of the Burgundian Farmhouse in Auxerre!
- Description: Honest and hilarious review of the Burgundian Farmhouse in Auxerre, France. Find out if it lives up to the dream, including its spa, fireplace, and more! Includes tips, quirks, and honest opinions.
- Keywords: (See above)
- URL: (To be determined, but includes relevant keywords)
Enjoy your escape! And tell me about your experience! I’d love to compare chaotic notes. Bon voyage!
Escape to Paradise: Luxury Lakefront Home in Friesland, Netherlands
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your perfectly curated Instagram travel feed. We're talking REAL life, Burgundian farmhouse style, in Talon, near Auxerre, France. Buckle up, because it's gonna get… messy.
Day 1: Arrival & Existential Dread (Mostly Kidding… Kinda)
- Morning (7:00 AM - whenever): Ugh, the flight. Let's just say, budget airlines and my bladder are not friends. Finally, arrived at Charles de Gaulle. Customs – a blur of hurried apologies for my rusty French and the desperate hope they wouldn't look too closely at my carry-on (don't ask). Found the rental car. It's… a Citroen. French cars are always… something.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): The drive. Gorgeous, truly. Rolling hills, vineyards stretching as far as the eye can see. Except, I'M LOST. GPS is playing games. Pulled over, ate a pathetic baguette (pro tip: pack snacks), and questioned all my life choices. Is this the dream? Am I a failure? Did I pack enough socks?
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM - 6:00 PM): FINALLY. The farmhouse. It’s… magnificent. Stone walls, ivy creeping up, a view that screams "escape from the world." Then, the door. And the keys. And the realization that I'm alone. All this beauty, all this space, and just… me. Cue the existential dread. But, hey, there's a fireplace!
- Evening (6:00 PM - onwards): The fireplace! Success! After a valiant struggle with damp wood and a lighter that clearly hates me, it's crackling. A triumph! Opened a bottle of local Burgundy (because, France) and stared into the flames. Deep thoughts. Mostly about whether I left the oven on. Ordered pizza (because cooking… effort). Listened to some French Jazz (because, ambiance), and realized: I'm probably going to be okay.
Day 2: Auxerre & The Mystery of the Stinky Cheese (and the Cathedrals!)
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Okay, so I slept like a dead person. The silence, after the city, is… deafening. Coffee. Strong coffee. French bread. Again. Feeling MUCH better.
- Mid-Morning (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Auxerre! Charming town. Cobblestone streets, colorful buildings, the Yonne River shimmering. Visited the Cathedral of Saint-Étienne. Jaw-dropping architecture. I was practically drooling over the stained glass windows. Spent at least an hour just wandering around in awe. Next, the Abbaye Saint-Germain d'Auxerre, a medieval abbey (also, epic). Learned more about Saint Germain, than I ever knew I needed to.
- Lunch (1:00 PM - 2:00 PM): Found a lovely little bistro. Attempted my best French. Ordered… something. It arrived: a plate of local cheese. Cue the drama. One whiff and I was like, "Oh dear God, what have I done?". Took one brave bite. It was… intense. Let's just say, I spent the rest of the afternoon searching for something to wash the flavor out, and maybe some minty gums?
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Wandered through the town, feeling slightly nauseous, but determined. Found a charming little bookstore. Bought a book about wine and a book about cats. Obviously.
- Late Afternoon/Evening (4:00 PM - onwards): Back at the farmhouse. Contemplated the cheese incident while stirring a pot of pasta (because, comfort food). Opened another bottle of wine (different variety, thankfully). Watched the sunset. The world is still spinning.
Day 3: Vineyard Ventures & The Great Cheese Recon
- Morning (8:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Finally feeling settled in. Made pancakes! The tiny, wonky stove is not my friend, but the results were… edible. Decided to embrace the "slow travel" life. No rush. Just… be.
- Mid-Morning/Afternoon (11:00 AM - 4:00 PM): VINEYARDS! Found a small, family-run vineyard. The owner, a jolly old man named Jean-Pierre, spoke zero English, and I spoke very little French, but the language of wine is universal, right? He showed me everything! And I tasted everything… multiple times. Learning the difference between Chablis and whatever-the-heck-else-he-was-pouring was… educational. The view was gorgeous. I actually started to relax.
- Afternoon (4:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Cheese Recon. The scene of the crime. Back to the cheese shop. Determined to understand. Asked for guidance. The shop owner was very patient. (Turns out: the cheese I had the previous day was… very strong.) Managed to pick out a slightly less pungent variety. Progress!
- Evening (5:00 PM - onwards): Back at the farmhouse. Fireplace ablaze. Wine flowing. Cheese (the good kind) being sampled. Wrote in my journal. Feeling… happy. The silence is comforting now. The world is beautiful.
Day 4: Lost in Translation & Existential Pondering… Again.
- Morning (8:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Slept in! (Thank God!) Decided to try my hand at a local market. It was a glorious cacophony of sights, smells, and… French! I attempted to buy some eggs. This involved a lot of pointing, confused smiles, and a very helpful old lady who probably thought I was completely insane. SUCCESS! Eggs acquired!
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - 3:00 PM): Walked along the river. Found a quiet spot. Read my book. Ate my baguette (yes, again). Just… breathed.
- Late Afternoon (3:00 PM - 5:00 PM): The existential dread made a comeback. (It’s a persistent little beast.) Decided to confront it. Meditated by the fireplace. (It helped, slightly.)
- Evening (5:00 PM - onwards): Cooked dinner (eggs! Success!). Drank wine. Stared into the fire. Realized that maybe, just maybe, this whole “being alone in a French farmhouse” thing is exactly what I needed.
Day 5: Packing, Regret, & A Promise to Return
- Morning (7:00 AM - 9:00 AM): Packing. Ugh. The worst part. Sorting through things. Thinking – what do I really need? (Answers: French cheese, a giant scarf, and an extra large suitcase)
- Mid-Morning (9:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Last walk around the farmhouse. Squeezed in one last photo shoot.
- Late Morning/Afternoon (10:00 AM - 2:00 PM): Drive to the airport. The Citroen is… still a car. The GPS is… still testing me.
- Afternoon (2:00 PM - onwards): Back to the "real world." The flight. The airport chaos. The overwhelming feeling of… missing France. Missing the cheese. Missing the silence.
- Emotional AfterThoughts: Oh, I almost burst into tears at the airport, not because I was unhappy, but because I didn't want to leave. Not the most dignified look, but, screw it.
- Evening: (Back home) Staring at the suitcase still in the corner, I already know that I'll be back. I have a feeling deep down that's I've just begun. The mess, the imperfections, the cheese – all of it. That will be my next adventure…
1. Okay, spill the beans: Is this farmhouse REALLY as dreamy as the pictures?
Look, let's be honest. The pictures are... well, they're curated. There’s *some* Instagram magic at play. But the *feeling*? The feeling is spot-on. You know that bone-deep sigh of relief you get when you finally ditch the city and your phone's buzzing like a bad mosquito? That's what it feels like. The fireplace? Oh, the fireplace. I spent a solid afternoon just *staring* at it. The wood crackling, the shadows dancing... it's pure, unadulterated bliss. It's not *perfect*. Like, the Wi-Fi occasionally decides to take a nap, and the water pressure sometimes felt like a polite dribble. But honestly? Those tiny imperfections just added to the charm. It felt like a REAL place, not a sterile hotel room.
2. Seriously, that fireplace though. How's it actually work? Did you set the place on fire?
Okay, confession time. I'm basically a pyromaniac with a penchant for cozy vibes. I've always romanticized the roaring fire, you know? So, naturally, my inner Viking was ecstatic when I saw the fireplace. It's *massive*. Like, you could probably roast a whole boar in there. Which, side note, I briefly considered. The good news: the fireplace works BEAUTIFULLY. It's the heart of the house. The bad news? I MAY have gotten a little OVER-enthusiastic on the first night. A bit too much kindling, a tad too much… passion. Let's just say there may have been a brief moment where I was convinced I was personally single-handedly funding the French fire department. I mean, the chimney is fine... now. And it eventually calmed down, thank goodness. The owners were super understanding!
3. Auxerre! Never been. What's the *actual* town like? Is it just, you know... fields?
Auxerre? It's charming! It's not just fields, although, yes, there ARE fields. Beautiful ones! But Auxerre itself is this gorgeous little city with ancient buildings that look like they've been standing since *before* time. Seriously, the architecture is stunning! There’s a lovely river running through it (the Yonne), and you can stroll along the quays, popping into boulangeries for fresh croissants (essential!) and finding hidden little cafes. It's small enough to wander round easily, big enough to have *stuff* to do. Plus, the people are lovely, even when you're butchering your French (which, guilty as charged). I'd highly recommend a day trip to the vineyards!
4. Cooking? Kitchen situation? Is it a struggle? Because I can't cook.
Okay, the kitchen. It's not a professional chef's dream, but it has everything you need to make some basic meals. I, with my *extensive* culinary skills (read: ability to microwave a frozen lasagna), managed just fine. There are all the usual suspects: a stove, oven, fridge, and, crucially, a coffee maker. Stock up on groceries at the local market. Think fresh bread, smelly cheese (the BEST kind), and maybe some local wine (again, essential!). One anecdote, though: I did attempt to make a quiche. It wasn't pretty. But hey, it was edible, and it’s the thought that counts, right? And the leftovers made a *fantastic* midnight snack. The kitchen is functional, not a battleground.
5. Bugs. There are bugs, aren't there? French farmhouses and bugs. Tell me the truth!
Alright, this is where I unleash the inner drama queen. Yes. There are bugs. It IS a farmhouse. And honestly, they are *mostly* just the adorable, chirping kind, the crickets singing you to sleep with their French night songs. I mean, you might encounter a spider or two (they're just lonely, you see). But I'm a bit of an arachnophobe myself, and even *I* survived. Keep the windows closed at night (except when you're letting in the fire's smoke, of course – kidding!). Spray, if you feel the need. Honestly, though, it's part of the experience. It's *real*. It's nature. Don't go expecting sterile perfection; embrace the imperfections. That said, pack some bug spray. Just in case.
6. What about the owner? Are they hovering? Judgy? Can I be myself... and be a bit messy?
The owners? Wonderful. Genuinely lovely people. They clearly put a lot of love into the place. They were super responsive to any questions I had (remember the smoky chimney?). They're not the hovering type. They give you total privacy, but they’re also available if you need anything. And yes, you can be yourself. And yes, you can be a bit messy. Just, you know, maybe don't try to set the place on fire. (Speaking from experience, here.)
7. Wifi? Because I'm addicted to my phone... mostly for good things though, I swear!
The Wi-Fi... ah, the modern dilemma! It's there. Let's call it... *intermittent*. Some days it's blazing fast, allowing for endless scrolling. Other days, it's about as reliable as a politician's promise. It forces you to disconnect. To actually *look* at the glorious view, to read a book (gasp!), to... talk to the people you're with. Honestly? It was a good thing. I found myself putting my phone down more and actually *living* the experience. But hey, you'll probably still have reception, so if the Wi-Fi goes, get a local SIM card, you know, for work, or something.
8. Okay, so... would you go back?
In a heartbeat. A heartbeat fueled by red wine and the memory of that glorious fireplace. Seriously. The imperfections? The wonky Wi-Fi? The occasional bug? They're all part of the package. It's not just a rental; it's an *experience*. It's a place to escape, to de-stress, to reconnect with yourself. Even with the fire incident. Absolutely. I'm already planning my return. Just need to brush up on my fire starting skills... and maybe pack a fire extinguisher.
