Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Beach House in Noordwijk Awaits!
Escape to Paradise: My Dream Beach House… or Maybe Just a Really Nice Hotel in Noordwijk? (A Messy, Honest, and Slightly Over-Caffeinated Review)
Okay, okay, so "Dream Beach House" is a bit of a stretch. But honestly, the Escape to Paradise in Noordwijk… it's pretty darn close. I just got back and my brain is still a sandy, sun-drenched jumble of memories. Here's the (un)filtered truth, folks. Buckle up.
Metadata & SEO (Because I'm a good little reviewer):
- Keywords: Noordwijk Beach Hotel, Escape to Paradise Review, Netherlands Hotels, Beach Vacation, Wheelchair Accessible Hotel, Noordwijk Spa Hotel, Family-Friendly Hotel, Luxury Hotel Noordwijk, Free Wi-Fi, On-Site Restaurant, Spa & Sauna, Noordwijk Accommodation.
- Meta Description: Honest review of Escape to Paradise in Noordwijk, Netherlands. Discover accessibility, amenities (spa, pool, restaurant!), and the real experience of staying there. Is it really paradise? Find out!
Accessibility - The First Hurdle, and They Did Pretty Good! (Thankfully)
Right off the bat, a huge sigh of relief: the website actually mentioned accessibility features. Turns out, they weren't lying! While I didn't personally need wheelchair accessibility, the information was surprisingly detailed. Elevator access was a breeze, and I spotted ramps and clearly marked accessible rooms (which, let's be honest, is more than you can say for a lot of places claiming to be "accessible"). Score: Solid A for effort and transparency.
On-site Accessible Restaurants / Lounges: This is where things get slightly more… nuanced. The restaurant, while beautiful, didn't scream "wheelchair-friendly access." It was more "potentially accessible if you're willing to navigate a few subtle slopes and maybe ask for the best table." I'd recommend calling ahead and confirming the best route if accessibility is a top priority. The lounge seemed more straightforward, but again, I'm going purely on observation. Rating: B+ with a "check before you go" disclaimer.
Internet - Ah, the Digital Tether (or Lack Thereof!)
The Wi-Fi situation? Glorious. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! And actually worked well. No buffering nightmares while streaming Netflix on my laptop at 3 AM. Pure bliss. They also offer Internet [LAN], which I appreciated in theory, but, let's be honest, I didn't actually use it. I was beachbound, baby! Rating: A+ for Wi-Fi, and a polite nod to the LAN which I didn't see anyone use.
Things to Do & Ways to Relax – Paradise… or Overstimulation?
Okay, buckle up because this is where things get juicy. The escape to Paradise promised a lot in this department. Let's dissect it, shall we?
- Spa & Sauna: A Personal Odyssey Okay, so they got me. The spa area… it's like stepping into a dream. The Pool with view was everything. I swear, I spent half the day just floating, staring at the sky. The Sauna was legit (as in, hot and sweaty in a good way). The Spa/sauna combo? Chef's kiss. Now, about the Steamroom… for a moment, I thought I'd been accidentally teleported to a cloud. Pure, steamy, heavenly relaxation. Then (because, let's face it, I'm a klutz), I tripped on my way out and nearly face-planted. Minor imperfection, but it definitely grounded me.
- Things to do: I'm not typically a fan of Body scrubs and Body wraps but if you're into that sort of thing, they were available! The Massage was a crucial one when I could drag myself away from the sea. They had a Gym/fitness. I went once. I regretted it. The proximity to the beach, by the way, makes it really hard to motivate yourself to exercise.
- Swimming pool [outdoor]: Amazing. Absolutely amazing. And the Poolside bar was a lifesaver (and a perfect excuse for another cocktail).
The Verdict on Relaxation: A Solid A. Just be prepared for the potential for some over-the-top pampering.
Cleanliness and Safety - A COVID-Era Reality Check
This is where Escape to Paradise really shines, and this is important, especially these days. They’re taking things seriously. I’m talking Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, and Hand sanitizer EVERYWHERE. The staff were clearly trained in safety protocols. You could even opt-out of room sanitization, which, honestly, I appreciated. I was more concerned about the endless delicious buffet options and the potential for overeating. They were using Safe dining setup which I appreciated! Rating: A+ for making me feel safe and slightly less anxious.
Dining, drinking, and snacking - A Love Affair (and a Few Regrets)
Ah, yes. The fuel for paradise. Let's face it, a good hotel lives or dies by its food.
- Restaurants, Bars, and More:
- Restaurants: I love that they had Asian cuisine in restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant. I ate in the Vegetarian restaurant a few times. The Buffet in restaurant was a sight to behold. The A la carte in restaurant was quite good.
- Happy hour: Need I say more?
- Coffee/tea in restaurant, coffee shop: essential.
- Poolside bar: Cocktails. Repeatedly.
- Snack bar: Perfect for those post-beach, salty-hair cravings.
The Buffet of Excess… and my inner monologue:
Okay, the Breakfast [buffet] was… dangerous. I'm talking rows upon rows of deliciousness. The Asian breakfast was incredible. The Western breakfast was also amazing. I may have indulged in what felt like my weight in pastries. There was also a selection for those in a hurry with Breakfast takeaway service. The Soup in restaurant was the perfect pick-me-up after a long day. The Verdict on Dining: A solid A, possibly bordering on an A+ depending on your tolerance for a food coma.
Services and Conveniences - The Little Things That Make a Difference…and Some That Don't?
- The Good: Daily housekeeping (thank goodness!), Concierge (helpful), Laundry service (essential, because sandy laundry is a nightmare).
- The "Meh": Cash withdrawal. Honestly, I barely left the hotel. Gift/souvenir shop was a nice thought, but the prices were a bit… optimistic.
- The Oddity: Shrine. There was a tiny, random shrine tucked away in a corner. No idea why, but hey, it added character.
For the Kids (and the Young at Heart)
I didn't have kids with me, but I did see a few families. Seemed like they had a Family/child friendly attitude, and some Kids facilities. Also, there was Babysitting service.
Rooms - My Oasis, My Cave, My… Where Did I Leave My Sunglasses?
Okay, the rooms: Available in all rooms was a good start. My room had Air conditioning, which was vital, especially after a day on the beach. Alarm clock and a Coffee/tea maker? Yes, please! The Bathtub was divine. I loved the Blackout curtains. And speaking of the Bed, it was supremely comfortable, I'm not sure if was the Extra long bed. The Bathroom phone was a funny idea for being in the bathroom. Did I need to call room service from the commode? I wasn't sure, but the intention was appreciated. The Desk was a nice touch (though I mostly used it to stash beach towels). There was the In-room safe box. The Mini bar. The Refrigerator. The Seating area. The Shower. The Slippers. The Soundproofing. The Wake-up service, I wasn't sure why they wake someone up when they can wake themselves up, but perhaps that's just me.
The Verdict for the Rooms: A solid A. It was my sanctuary, and that's all that really matters.
Getting Around - Mostly on Foot (and Occasionally In a Taxi… or a Cloud of Sand)
- Car park [free of charge]: Score! Free parking!
- Taxi service: readily available for those rare excursions outside the bubble.
Final Thoughts (and a Plea for Help)
So, would I recommend Escape to Paradise? Absolutely. It's not perfect, but it's damn close. The spa is a dream. The food could send you into a coma. The rooms are havens. The staff are lovely. And the beach? Well, the beach is just… magic.
My ONLY complaint? I'm officially addicted to that buffet and I need a serious detox… and maybe another trip back to Noord
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Cottage Awaits in Dabki, Poland!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your run-of-the-mill, perfectly polished travel itinerary. This is going to be a messy, glorious, and probably slightly disastrous account of my "holiday" – and I use that term loosely – at a beachfront holiday home in Noordwijk, Netherlands. Let's call it Operation "Get My Sanity Back (Maybe)".
Day 1: Arrival and Immediate Panic
- 10:00 AM: Arrive at Schiphol Airport. The flight was fine, except I’m pretty sure the guy next to me was smuggling tiny, adorable squirrels. Never got a good look but… I'm suspicious. Customs? A breeze! Mostly because I'd prepped a detailed explanation for why I'm carrying three (slightly damp) books about existential philosophy in my carry-on. No one cared. Whew.
- 11:30 AM: Pick up the rental car. "Compact" they said. "Easy to park" they lied. It's bright orange. It looks like a giant pumpkin. My first instinct was to name it "Gnasher". I restrained myself. For now. The GPS? Already a battlefield. Kept shouting at me about roundabouts which apparently the entire goddamn Netherlands is built on.
- 1:00 PM: Find the holiday home. Miraculous. It actually looks like the pictures! Okay, maybe a little less pristine. The welcome basket? A bottle of wine (yay!), some stroopwafels (double yay!), and… a bag of what I think is supposed to be dog biscuits. Possibly meant for the dog in the downstairs apartment. Who knows. Already feeling a bit defeated by the utter chaos that is unpacking a suitcase.
- 2:00 PM: Unpack, sort of. The place is adorably decorated with seashells, which, I must admit, is growing on me. The view from the balcony is spectacular – pure, raw, salty ocean bliss. I'm already craving a cigarette, but I'm trying to quit. So, I’ll make it a stroopwafel first. Then maybe another one.
- 3:00 PM: Struggle. To find the coffee machine. After 30 minutes, I think I finally have it mastered, the world feels, well, slightly better.
- 4:00 PM: Walk on the beach. Gorgeous. Wind. Cold. Still trying to figure out how to hold a cigarette, sorry… stroopwafel in the wind. Nearly lost Gnasher to a rogue seagull earlier. (That's the car. I've officially named Gnasher.)
- 6:30 PM: Attempt to cook. Disaster. The oven dial seems to have been designed by someone who actively hates humanity. Burnt the fish. Burned my finger. Ordered pizza. Victory!
- 8:00 PM: Watch the sunset. Spectacular. Drink wine. Feel… strangely peaceful. Maybe this "holiday" thing isn't going to be a total dumpster fire after all.
Day 2: The Bike Incident and My Existential Crisis
- 9:00 AM: Wake up. Feeling oddly refreshed. The ocean air is seriously doing something magical to my brain. I have a sudden urge to…bike. I have not ridden a bike in a number of years, so this should be interesting.
- 10:00 AM: Rent a bike. Well, a very sturdy-looking, Dutch-designed bike. Think metal tank with wheels. The woman at the rental place gives me a look that clearly says, "Good luck, you disaster." I ignored the look. Foolish of me.
- 10:30 AM: The Bike Incident. I attempt to navigate the cycle path. I wobbled. I nearly took out a small child. I was nearly taken by Gnasher. I eventually face-planted – gracefully, of course – into a pile of sand. My dignity is gone. My knee is scraped. My ego is bruised.
- 11:30 AM: Ice cream to soothe the wounds. Chocolate almond. Seriously decadent. Found a charming little café. The owner, bless her heart, didn't even laugh when I explained I'd been defeated by a bicycle.
- 1:00 PM: Stroll through Noordwijk town. Very cute. Very… Dutch. Lots of windmills. I get the feeling I should be wearing clogs and carrying tulips. I do not own clogs. Or tulips. Starting to feel a bit like a misfit, like a weird American who barely knows how to ride a bike.
- 2:00 PM: The Existential Coffee Moment. Found a tiny café overlooking the dunes. Ordered a coffee and a slice of apple tart. Started to people-watch and, you know, have a small existential crisis. I’m alone. I am surrounded by beauty. Why am I questioning my whole existence? So weird. That apple tart was delicious, though.
- 4:00 PM: Beach walk. Again. Soothing. Actually, feels REALLY good to just walk. The endless horizon. The crash of the waves. The total lack of small children on bicycles. Maybe, just maybe, I'm starting to relax?
- 6:00 PM: Dinner. This time, I try again to cook – a simple pasta dish. It's edible! Success! Small victories, people, small victories.
- 7:30 PM: Watch the sunset again. Even more spectacular than yesterday. The sky is on fire. I'm not sure I want to go home. This is a feeling, that I'm certain, wouldn't have occurred to me before I had a near-death experience with a bike.
Day 3:" The Day Of The Museum and The Unexpected Meltdown"
- 9:00 Am: Wake up. Sun is shining! Coffee is ready! I feel almost human again.
- 10:00 AM: Visit The Museum. I was prepared to scoff, to judge, to find fault…but the place was actually pretty cool.. The art was interesting, the information was well-presented, and I surprised myself by being genuinely moved.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch. Found a lovely restaurant right on the beach where I enjoyed some amazing seafood. The food was tasty, the view was epic and I actually smiled.
- 2:00 PM: Beach walk. I decide to leave my thoughts behind and enjoy the sand.
- 3:00 PM: The Unexpected Meltdown. Okay, so I sat on the beach, looking all peaceful and zen, when suddenly, the dam broke. Tears. Sobs. Ugly crying. Turns out, all that "getting away" and "self-reflection" had finally caught up with me. The reasons for the tears? A combination of everything. The bike incident. The existential angst. The burnt fish. The fact that I'd spent most of my adult life avoiding dealing with how to ride a bicycle, and the constant battle with my own feelings. I was simply, incredibly, and overwhelmingly… tired.
- 4:00 PM: Luckily, it passed. I felt better after about an hour. It was as if a massive weight had been lifted..
- 5:00 PM: Find a pub. Ordered a beer. Regained composure. Decided to be okay with the fact that I had, essentially, spent an hour sobbing on a public beach. It happens. It's called life.
- 7:00 PM: Home. Dinner: Pizza (again). Embrace the simple pleasures.
Day 4: The Quest for Clams and The Departure
- 9:00 AM: Wake up, still. The best decision I ever made… waking up,
- 10:00 AM: Visit a clam place to buy the best clams on earth.
- 12:00 PM: Walk on the beach. The beach is just glorious, no matter how many days.
- 2:00 PM: Prepare to leave. A feeling of not wanting to go.
- 4:00 PM: Travel back Home after going to Gnasher!
Final Thoughts:
This trip wasn’t perfect. It was messy and flawed and sometimes a little bit embarrassing. But it was real. I fell down. I cried. I ate a pizza, two days in a row. I went into the ocean. Ultimately, I think I got my sanity back (mostly). And that, my friends, is a victory. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go lie down for a week. Or maybe just order another pizza. Cheers to getting out alive.
Escape to Gouvy: Luxurious Cottage with Bubble Bath Bliss!
Escape to Paradise: FAQ - Because Let's Be Honest, You Have Questions (and Maybe Doubts)
Okay, So "Escape to Paradise"... Sounds a Bit Dramatic, Doesn't It? Is it *Really* Paradise?
Is Noordwijk ACTUALLY Close to Amsterdam? Or is That Another Marketing Lie?
What's the Beach Like? Is it Sandy? Are There Seagulls? (The Important Stuff)
Can I Bring My Dog? (Please Say Yes!)
The House Looks Amazing in the Photos, but What About... The Internet? Is it Reliable?
What About Groceries? Are There Shops Nearby?
Is the House Actually Cozy? Or is it One of Those Trendy Airbnbs That Prioritizes Aesthetics Over Comfort?
What's the Deal with Parking?
