Escape to Belgium: Luxurious Malmedy Holiday Home w/ Stunning Garden!
Escape to Belgium: More Than Just Luxe, It’s a Feeling – A Review That’s Kinda All Over the Place (But in a Good Way, I Swear!)
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this isn't your average, dry-as-a-bone hotel review. We’re talking about the Escape to Belgium: Luxurious Malmedy Holiday Home w/ Stunning Garden! experience. And I'm gonna lay it all bare, warts and all (and hopefully, mostly good warts). Forget the bullet points, we're going for a full-blown, meandering, "I-just-got-back-and-I'm-still-blissed-out" kind of vibe.
First Impressions… Okay, Let's Just Say "Wowza!" (And a Little Bit of "Uh Oh")
The website photos? Yeah, they're gorgeous. The reality? Even better. The "Luxurious Malmedy Holiday Home" title is on the money. This place isn't just a place to stay, it's an escape. A proper one. Think rolling hills, crisp air (Malmedy is in the Belgian Ardennes, remember!), and the kind of garden that makes you want to throw on a white linen getup and pretend you’re in a Jane Austen novel.
Accessibility: A Mixed Bag (But Mostly Good News!)
Now, I'm not a wheelchair user myself, so I can't give the most comprehensive review on that specific front. But, from what I saw, it looked pretty promising. The website mentions Facilities for Disabled Guests. However, double-check the specifics if accessibility is a major concern. Always, always, always call ahead and chat about your particular needs! Getting stuck somewhere not designed for you is a total buzzkill.
On-Site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: I didn't notice any explicitly labelled accessible restaurants. Check the dining and bar options.
The Digital Life: Connected and Content… Or, More Precisely, Connected!
Okay, so let's talk about the online stuff. This is important, right? Gotta stay connected to the world (even while escaping it).
- Internet Access, Internet [LAN], Internet Services, Free Wi-Fi in All Rooms!, & Wi-Fi in Public Areas: Yep. You’re covered. The Free Wi-Fi was rock solid, which is a godsend if you're like me and need to upload a thousand vacation photos (and, you know, do some work). The Internet [LAN] option is a nice touch for the tech-savvy folk.
- Internet: And… yeah, it has internet. Just covering all bases here. Just in case you’re wondering.
The "Things to Do" and "Ways to Relax" Department: Bring Your Towel (and Maybe a Therapist)
This is where things get seriously interesting. Prepare to be pampered. Prepare to feel…alive (or, at least, less stressed).
Spa, Spa/Sauna, Steamroom, Sauna, Pool with view, Swimming pool [outdoor], Swimming pool, Body scrub, Body wrap: Ummm…wow. This isn't just a pool, it's a vantage point. You're swimming, looking out at the beautiful landscape. Pure bliss. I spent hours in the sauna and steam room. Just sweating out all the city grime and existential ennui. The body scrub was… well, let’s just say I left with skin that felt like a baby’s bottom. (Note: I'm a 40-something dude. This is important information). I didn't get the body wrap, I will be honest, I forgot about it. Next time!
Gym/fitness, Fitness center: I’m supposed to go to the gym, right? I glanced in. It looked… clean. And functional. But the pool and sauna won. Priorities, people!
Massage: A must. Did I mention I was stressed? I opted for the full-body deep tissue and nearly floated away. The masseuse was a magician; they kneaded away all the knots and stress that had been building up for months. I highly recommend it, just let your therapist know how tense you are!
Couple's Room: I didn't use this. I was in the home by myself, but I thought it was a nice thing to have there
Cleanliness and Safety: Feeling Safe in a Post-Apocalyptic World?
Okay, the pandemic's still a thing, so let's address it head-on:
Anti-viral cleaning products, Daily disinfection in common areas, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing: The place takes cleanliness seriously. Seriously. They’ve got it all, and you feel safe. Every surface gleamed. I was impressed.
First aid kit, Doctor/nurse on call: Always a good thing to have, even if you’re just nursing a slight overindulgence in Belgian beer.
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: Food Glorious Food (And Maybe Too Much Of It!)
Alright, food lovers, prepare yourselves. This place is a culinary adventure.
Restaurants, Bar, Poolside bar, Coffee shop: Loads of choices. My biggest problem? Choosing what to eat.
A la carte in restaurant, Buffet in restaurant, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant: The variety is insane. I went for a buffet breakfast that completely put me into a food coma. Yes, the Breakfast [buffet], and yes, it was fantastic. The Coffee/tea in restaurant was excellent and so was the Coffee/tea maker in my room.
Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service : One morning I was so comfortable I wanted to stay in bed. Having breakfast in my room was an absolute delight!
Room service [24-hour]: Perfect for a solo traveler. I'm pretty sure I ordered something at 3am one night.
Bottle of water, Desserts in restaurant, Salad in restaurant, Soup in restaurant: Delicious!
Happy hour: I missed it. Don't make my mistake!
Services and Conveniences: Smooth Sailing (Mostly)
Concierge, Daily housekeeping, Doorman, Elevator, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Cash withdrawal, Currency exchange: Top-notch services. Luggage Storage was very convenient. The Doorman was always happy to help (and open the door!).
Food delivery: I did not use this… but it’s a great option.
Contactless check-in/out: Super easy, especially after a long journey.
Buisness Facilities, Meeting/banquet facilities, Xerox/fax in business center: If you are there for work, it looks very helpful!
Indoor venue for special events, Outdoor venue for special events: I didn't see any of these.
Smoking area, Terrace: Great, convenient options.
Facilities for disabled guests, Essential condiments, Convenience store: All you could want or need.
For the Kids: Family Friendly? Maybe. (Or Maybe Not.)
- Babysitting service, Family/child friendly, Kids facilities, Kids meal: I didn't have kids with me, but I saw some families enjoying the home. Might be worth checking on specific kid-friendly options directly with the home.
Getting Around: Easy Peasy
Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], Taxi service, Airport transfer, Valet parking: Super convenient! I drove, the Car park [free of charge] was a huge bonus. The Taxi Service is there if you decide to spend a little time in the local pubs!
Bicycle parking: They encourage you to be active!
Rooms: My Little Sanctuary (With a Few Quirks)
Where do I begin? The rooms are spacious, well-appointed, and designed for maximum comfort.
- Air conditioning, Air conditioning in public area, Alarm clock, Additional toilet, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone: Yup. All good. The Air Conditioning was a must during peak summer heat.
- **Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room(s) available, Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless, Ironing facilities, Laptop workspace, Linens, Mini bar, Mirror, Non-smoking, On-demand movies, Private bathroom, Reading light, Refrigerator, Safety/security feature, Satellite/cable channels, Scale, Seating area, Separate shower/bathtub, Shower, Slippers, Smoke detector, Socket near the bed, Sofa, Soundproofing, Telephone, Toiletries, Towels, Umbrella, Visual alarm, Wake-up service,
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! We're going to Malmedy, Belgium, and let me tell you, this itinerary is less "military precision" and more "organized chaos with a side of waffles." We’re aiming for a Historic Holiday Home with a Garden, Terrace, and BBQ. Sounds idyllic, right? We'll see.
Day 1: Arrival & Oh My God, It’s a House! (and the Luggage Fight)
- Morning (ish – because let's be honest, "morning" is a loose concept on vacation): We fly into… well, wherever's cheapest. Brussels? Liège? Honestly, I booked this trip three months ago, details are fuzzy. Expect a delay. Expect the coffee to taste like airplane sadness. Expect me to be grumpy. (Emotional Reaction: I hate airports. They're purgatories of questionable wi-fi and extortionate bottled water.)
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon: Grab our rental car. Pray it's not a tiny, death-trap Fiat. Pray harder that I remember how to drive on the right side of the road. (I always forget.) This will probably involve some dramatic hand-waving at a car rental agent and a desperate search for the GPS.
- Afternoon: Finally arrive in Malmedy! Find the Historic Holiday Home. First impressions? Sigh. Hopefully it's actually historic and not just "old." Get keys, navigate the (hopefully) charming cobblestone streets to our holiday home. The garden better be as advertised… because all the photos online are always lying. (Remember that Airbnb in Lisbon? The one with the "stunning views" that turned out to be a fire escape.)
- First, the luggage fight. (This is a given. Someone always overpacks. Someone always forgets something crucial. Someone always ends up with the heaviest bag.) After the unpacking, the struggle will continue, but let's try to forget that for now.
- Late Afternoon / Early Evening: Explore the house! Survey the damage (of our arrival, and the house itself – just kidding… mostly). Find the fridge. Immediately locate the nearest supermarket. (I need chocolate. Like, now.) Get some snacks and (hopefully) Belgian beer. Quirky Observation: I bet the shower pressure is going to be abysmal. It always is.
- Evening: Relax, watch the sun set over… whatever we’re overlooking. Crack open a beer. Probably accidentally set off the smoke alarm while attempting to cook something. (I'm not a chef, people.) Assess the damage of the day. Pray we don’t get lost on the way back from the supermarket. Emotional Reaction: This is it. We're finally here! I need a nap. But first, beer… and maybe those chocolates.
Day 2: Malmedy-ing & The Questionable BBQ
- Morning: Wake up. Hopefully not with a massive hangover. Explore the garden! (Fingers crossed it's not just moss and weeds). Eat breakfast at the house. Try not to burn the toast. Opinionated Language: I demand a decent coffee machine!
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon: Explore Malmedy! Walk around the town. Pop into the tourist office. (Do they still give out those awful plastic keychains? I secretly love those.) Visit the abbey. Messy Structure: Maybe have some waffles. (I hear they’re a thing here.) Or maybe just wander around, getting lost. That's the best part of traveling, right?
- Afternoon: The BBQ. This is where things get interesting. I'm in charge of the food. (Send help.) We buy sausages, some questionable-looking pre-marinated chicken, and probably a bag of chips. The weather forecast? "Mostly sunny, with a chance of rain… and existential dread."
- BBQ Debacle: Get the BBQ going. Fail. Struggle. (I am not a BBQ person. I once set a grill on fire. True story.) Eventually, after much fumbling and swearing, we get some char on the meat. Eat the sausage (it will be slightly burnt, but good). Try to enjoy the moment. (This is where the beer – and maybe a bit of wine – comes in handy.)
- Emotional Reaction: The BBQ was… a learning experience. We survived. That's what matters. Also to not forget the sunblock.
- Evening: Stargazing! If the clouds cooperate. Otherwise, we'll sit on the terrace, drink more beer, and tell tall tales. Maybe attempt to learn a few phrases in French. “Où sont les toilettes?” (Where is the bathroom?) – probably the most important phrase I’ll learn.
Day 3: Spa-ing & Chocolate Addiction
- Morning: Sleep in! (Yes, please!)
- Late Morning: Drive to Spa. It's a spa town, right? Sounds relaxing. Find a fancy spa. (Probably can't afford it, but we'll peek in the window anyway.) Wandering around town.
- Afternoon: Dive deep into the chocolate! Visit a local chocolatier. Spend a fortune. Regret nothing. Seriously, I live for good chocolate. Buy some more. Stronger Emotional Reaction: OMFG, the chocolate! The chocolate! I might cry. (In a good way.)
- Evening: Dinner! Find a charming little restaurant. Eat moules frites (mussels and fries). Drink more beer. (A theme is emerging, I know.) Maybe try to speak some French. Probably butcher the language. Laugh about it. Rambles: I wonder if there's a good bookshop nearby? Or maybe a cozy pub with a fireplace? Those things always make experiences even more perfect.
- Late Evening: Back to the holiday home, ready to crash.
Day 4: Hiking & the Unexpected Waterfall
- Morning: Finally, a bit of exercise! Go hiking in the Ardennes (if, you know, we can figure out how to get there). The scenery is stunning, the air is crisp, and I'll probably complain about the uphill climbs.
- Late Morning/Afternoon: Find a waterfall! (Apparently, there are some good ones around here.) It's a cliché, sure, but waterfalls are pretty damn cool. Take photos to prove we did something active.
- Afternoon: Find a patisserie and eat delicious things we shouldn't be eating.
- Evening: Say goodbye to Malmedy. Pack. Drink the last of the beer. Curse the fact that we have to leave. Emotional Reaction: I don't want to go home! I want to stay in this house, eat chocolate, and stare at waterfalls forever!
- Late Evening: Make our way back to our arrival city.
Day 5: Departure Day
- Morning: Say goodbye to the holiday home. Return the rental car. Queue at the airport. Drink more bad coffee. Fly home. Quirky Observation: I predict I will immediately start planning the next trip.
And that, my friends, is the (approximate) plan. It'll probably go sideways, we'll probably get lost at least once, and I'll probably forget half of what I'm supposed to do. But hey, that's the beauty of it, right? Let the adventure begin!
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Escape to Belgium: Luxurious Malmedy Holiday Home - Your Questions, Answered (Maybe!)
Okay, so... is this place *actually* luxurious? Because "luxurious" can mean anything these days. Reminds me of that time I booked a "luxury" hotel in Prague...
Alright, fine, let's be real. "Luxurious" is thrown around willy-nilly, isn't it? This Malmedy place… it's *mostly* luxurious. Think comfy sofas you can actually sink into (not those rock-hard things that pass for furniture in some places), a serious kitchen (God bless a dishwasher after a big meal!), and bedrooms that you *want* to sleep in, not just crash. It's not Buckingham Palace, people. But it’s got the good stuff. Like, real fireplaces and a garden that'll make you forget your phone exists (mostly). That Prague hotel... I feel your pain. A 'luxury' experience should not involve a shower that barely dribbles. This place? The showers are excellent. Trust me, I need a good shower after a long day of… well, doing absolutely nothing but relaxing.
The garden looks amazing in the photos. Is it… you know… *actually* amazing? Like, can you actually *use* it? Or is it just for posing?
The garden... oh, the garden! Okay, so, I’m not usually a garden person. I'm more of an "indoor person" generally. But this one… This one's legit. It's big, it's green, and it's actually got *stuff* to do. Like, actual, usable space. We spent an entire afternoon lounging in those ridiculously comfy garden chairs, reading, and just *existing*. It was glorious. Now, the *perfect* garden experience? Requires good weather. We got lucky. One time, back home the weather was so bad, a squirrel took my umbrella!
What kind of activities are there in Malmedy and the surrounding area? I don't want to be stuck in a cabin fever situation!
Activities! Right. Okay, listen, I am the MOST lazy vacationer in the world. But even *I* found things to do. Malmedy itself is a cute little town with some decent restaurants (try the waffles, seriously). There's a circuit nearby for all you car-racing fanatics (not my thing, but hey, it’s there.) Then there's hiking, biking (if you're into that pain!), and exploring the Ardennes forest. I went for a short hike. I regretted it. Okay, more like a *short stagger*. The point is, there's enough to keep you busy if you *want* to be. Or, you know, you could just sit in the garden and eat cheese. That's my preferred activity. I could have happily spent the entire trip in a cheese coma.
Is the place family-friendly? We have… *children*.
Children. Oh, bless your heart. Honestly, the house seems pretty kid-friendly. There's space to run around (that garden, again!), and I *think* they have a high chair (maybe check with the owner to confirm). Just… prepare yourself. Kids are chaotic. Remember when I tried to have a "relaxing" spa day? I was there all of 30 minutes before a woman's baby gave me the side-eye. This place should at least give them a lot of space to burn off that seemingly endless energy. Just, you know, keep an eye on them near the fireplace. And the stairs. And everything, basically. But yes, probably family-friendly. (Maybe not for *my* family, though, because honestly, I can barely handle myself!)
What about the kitchen? Can you *actually* cook in it? I'm tired of eating out!
The kitchen... yeah, the kitchen *is* good. It's got all the usual suspects: oven, hob, microwave. But it's also got things like a decent fridge (important!), and enough pots and pans that you won't be struggling to boil water in a saucepan the size of a teacup. As I said earlier, the dishwasher is a gift from the gods. We cooked a couple of meals. Nothing fancy, mind you. I'm more of a "toast and jam" kind of chef. But it was perfectly functional. And eating in is always cheaper. And, after a few days of restaurant food, you just *crave* something home-cooked, even if it's just a sad-looking salad.
Okay, be honest: what's the *catch*? There's always a catch. Is it infested with spiders? Is the water pressure nonexistent? Spill the tea!
Spiders! Oh, you know, it's Belgium. It's not *spider-free*. There are probably a few eight-legged residents scattered around. I didn’t see any massive, terrifying beasties and the water pressure was good. It's not perfect. Nothing is. There’s a slight creak in a stair. The wifi occasionally has a moment of hesitation (but honestly, that’s kind of a blessing, isn’t it?). The biggest "catch"? The realization that you have to leave eventually. That moment when you pack your bags, knowing you'll soon be back in reality... that's the real catch. The heart-stopping, soul-crushing catch. Seriously. I was genuinely sad to leave. Almost cried. Okay, I *might* have shed a single, dramatic tear. Don't judge me!
How far is it from the nearest supermarket? We need snacks. And wine. Lots of wine.
Ah, the essentials! Thankfully, getting supplies isn't a hike in the wilderness. There are supermarkets within easy driving distance. I can't tell you the exact number of kilometers but, trust me, you won’t starve. We actually did a massive shop when we arrived, filled the fridge and the larder, and then proceeded to eat our way through the entire stash. Seriously, the cheese selection at the local supermarket was *divine*. And the wine… well, let’s just say we were very relaxed by the end of the trip. Wine is a necessity, people! Don’t forget the wine!
Is there parking? Because driving always stresses me out.
Parking? Yes, there's parking! (Thank the heavens!) And it's nice, easy parking. Not like some places where you have to parallel park on a 45-degree angle while a gaggle of judgmental tourists stares at you. It’s right there, near the house, probably on the property. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. Less stress is always a win in my book. Listen. Parking is a big deal. Remember when I was in Paris and the parking was so bad? I ended up circling the block for an hour. An HOUR! I nearly lost it. So, yes, good parking is a definite plus.
