Escape to Paradise: Your Private Terrace Awaits in Detershagen, Germany!
Escape to Paradise (Maybe?) - A Detershagen Diary: My Uncensored Take on "Your Private Terrace Awaits"
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just got back from Escape to Paradise in Detershagen, Germany, and I have thoughts. Let's be real, the name sets a high bar, promising a slice of heaven. Did it deliver? Well, let's just say it was more like a really well-decorated, architect-designed… garden shed of bliss, at times. Here's the messy, honest, and occasionally contradictory truth, ripped straight from my travel journal:
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Accessibility: (Let's Get Practical First)
Right, accessibility. This is important. Good news! They do make a genuine effort. They advertise "Facilities for disabled guests" and, more importantly, they seemed to mean it! Elevators? Check. Ramps? Check. While I didn't personally need full wheelchair accessibility this time, it looked like they'd thought of the details. The whole vibe leans towards inclusivity, which is a huge plus in my book.
On-Site Accessible Restaurants/Lounges: Honestly, I'm not sure if all of the spots are perfectly accessible, but I know that there are some areas that are definitely accessible, which is great.
Internet: (Because, Zombies!)
Alright, let's talk connectivity. "Free Wi-Fi in all rooms!" they boast. And they're mostly right. The Wi-Fi was pretty solid, especially compared to some of the ancient internet speeds I've encountered in my travels (looking at you, rural French B&Bs!). But listen, I hate having to hunt for my Wi-Fi. It's a pet peeve. This place was good, but it wasn't perfect. The "Internet [LAN]" option? I didn't even bother. Who uses LAN anymore? It's 2024, people! They did offer internet service, and the "Wi-Fi in public areas" was decent enough to avoid any major withdrawal symptoms.
Services & Conveniences (The Nitty Gritty):
- Air conditioning in public area: Good. The German summer can be brutal, and breathing's a good thing!
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Not sure what the special events were, but they have the gear. Good for you, Escape to Paradise!
- Business facilities… I'm more "vacation" than "business", but they do have a Xerox/fax in the business center. They also provided invoices, which is a plus.
- Cash withdrawal: Nice to know, not that I wanted to, but it was good to see that there was the option.
- Concierge: Always helpful, though I didn’t have a chance to chat with them
- Contactless check-in/out: A godsend, especially in COVID times. Super smooth.
- Convenience store: Well-stocked, which is great if you're craving a midnight snack
- Currency exchange: Not that I needed it, but handy for international travelers.
- Daily housekeeping: Necessary. The most important, really.
- Doorman: There was a doorman. They were very polite.
- Dry cleaning, Elevator, Essential condiments, Facilities for disabled guests, Food delivery, Gift/souvenir shop, Indoor venue for special events, Invoice provided, Ironing service, Laundry service, Luggage storage, Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery, On-site event hosting, Outdoor venue for special events, Projector/LED display, Safety deposit boxes, Seminars, Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace, Wi-Fi for special events, Xerox/fax in business center: All the things!
Dining, Drinking & Snacking (Fueling the Soul):
Okay, the food. This is where things got, shall we say, complex.
- A la carte in restaurant: Lovely, but honestly, I'm more of a "point-and-eat" kinda gal.
- Alternative meal arrangement, Asian breakfast, Asian cuisine in restaurant, Bar, Bottle of water, Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Buffet in restaurant, Coffee/tea in restaurant, Coffee shop, Desserts in restaurant, Happy hour, International cuisine in restaurant, Poolside bar, Restaurants, Room service [24-hour], Salad in restaurant, Snack bar, Soup in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, Western breakfast, Western cuisine in restaurant: It's all here.
- The breakfast buffet…oh, the breakfast buffet. It was a thing. The typical international options like bacon, eggs, various pastries. Pretty solid. The "Asian breakfast" caught me by surprise, I did not expect the asian options. And the coffee? Actually, the coffee was shockingly good. I went back for seconds (and thirds).
- I tried a "happy hour" but it wasn't particularly happy. The cocktails were…competent. Nothing mind-blowing. I guess I'm just not a "happy hour" person.
- The "Poolside bar" was more of a "poolside-with-a-bartender" situation. I found it more convenient, and I liked it.
- Room service: 24/7, a lifesaver after a long day of…relaxing. (More on that later).
- Vegetarian Restaurant: I found that they had a vegetarian restaurant, which is good!
- The Western Cuisine: the restaurant served western Cuisine.
Things to Do/Ways to Relax (The Promised Paradise):
This is where "Escape to Paradise" really had to deliver. They promised a "private terrace awaits," right? They delivered on that. My terrace was lovely. Spacious. With comfortable seating. Overlooking…well, more of the hotel grounds, but it was private. Big points there. This wasn't just a balcony; it was an actual outdoor space.
- Body scrub, Body wrap: You know, the usual spa suspects. Didn't get around to it, but the options were there.
- Fitness center: Decent. Could have used a few more treadmills. (I'm a treadmill addict, sue me).
- Foot bath: I wasn't a fan of the foot bath.
- Gym/fitness: Okay, so I had a bad time at the gym. I don't love the gym. I was trying to do my usual routine, but I did not have a good time.
- Massage…: This is where I lost it a little. The massage was good, I'll give them that. Really, really good. But the spa feels a little…manufactured? Like it's trying too hard to be luxurious. It reminded me of an IKEA showroom, beautiful and well-designed, but lacking a certain…soul?
- Pool with view: Yep. A lovely infinity pool that seemed to stretch out into the horizon. And it was heated! Major props. This was a genuine highlight. I spent hours just drifting in the water, staring at the clouds. Pure bliss.
- Sauna, Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor]: All present and accounted for. They really went all-in on the relaxation front.
Cleanliness & Safety (In the Age of Germs):
- Anti-viral cleaning products, Breakfast in room, Breakfast takeaway service, Cashless payment service, Daily disinfection in common areas, Doctor/nurse on call, First aid kit, Hand sanitizer, Hot water linen and laundry washing, Hygiene certification, Individually-wrapped food options, Physical distancing of at least 1 meter, Professional-grade sanitizing services, Room sanitization opt-out available, Rooms sanitized between stays, Safe dining setup, Sanitized kitchen and tableware items, Shared stationery removed, Staff trained in safety protocol, Sterilizing equipment: Okay, in these COVID-19-obsessed times, these are crucial. "Escape to Paradise" takes it seriously. I saw staff constantly wiping down surfaces. They had hand sanitizer stations everywhere. You felt safe. The "Room sanitization opt-out" was a nice touch. I didn't need it, but it shows they’re thinking about your comfort levels. Props.
Rooms (The Sanctuary?):
- **Available in all rooms: Additional toilet, Air conditioning, Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains, Carpeting, Closet, Coffee/tea maker, Complimentary tea, Daily housekeeping, Desk, Extra long bed, Free bottled water, Hair dryer, High floor, In-room safe box, Interconnecting room
Alright, buckle up, buttercups! This ain't your grandma's perfectly-manicured travel itinerary. This is… me in Germany. Mostly. And it’s gonna be a glorious, slightly chaotic, real-person-in-a-foreign-country kind of mess. We're talking Flat in Detershagen with private terrace Kropelin, Germany, remember? Let's do this…
The "Almost Perfect" Plan (with a healthy dose of chaos)
Day 1: Arrival and the Unveiling of the Terrace (and My Sanity)
- Morning (or, 'whenever the heck I wake up after the transatlantic flight' o'clock): Land in Rostock-Laage Airport. Pray to the travel gods my luggage isn’t vacationing in Iceland. This is where the anxiety begins. I'm terrible at packing. Always overpack. Never wear half of it. Sigh. (Here's hoping this time is different, but I'm not holding my breath).
- Late Morning/Early Afternoon: Pick up the rental car. This is where the real fun starts, because… I don't know the German highway code. Wish me luck. Remember to get the navigation going, try my best to not get lost. I'm picturing some kind of slapstick comedy routine, me and the car navigating the Autobahn. I'd love it if it was smooth, but I'm more expecting "disaster."
- Afternoon: Drive to Kropelin. The countryside is supposed to be gorgeous, so I'll try to appreciate it… between panicked glances at the road signs. Maybe stop for a snack. Gotta find a bakery. Gotta stuff my face with a proper Brötchen. Need to experience the Germanness. It's crucial to surviving and functioning.
- Late Afternoon: Arrive at the flat! Unlock the door. First impressions… are everything. Pray the pictures online didn't lie. The terrace – will it be as idyllic as promised? Fingers crossed for sunshine, a decent view, and absolutely no wasps. I hate wasps. The terrace better be everything it promises.
- Evening: Unpack (mostly). The usual travel thing. Find the beers, local kind. Toast to the view, the day, no luggage lost! Enjoy the sun setting. This is the moment I can actually relax and drink a bit.
Day 2: Kropelin Exploration and Sausage Dreams (and Maybe Some Tears)
- Morning: Wake up (hopefully without a hangover, but no promises). Explore Kropelin. I mean, REALLY explore. Wander aimlessly. Get lost. Find a cafe with strong coffee, maybe the best coffee in the world. Talk to locals. Try to butcher some German phrases. Likely facepalm at my pronunciation (Hallo! Wie geht's?).
- Mid-day: Find the town square. Take some photos. Pretend to be a sophisticated traveler. Probably fail. It's okay; I'm not a "photographer". I just want to document.
- Afternoon: FOOD. Hunting the ultimate German sausage experience. Find the best Wurst. The best bread. Try to resist the temptation to eat everything. I want to be a real German. I definitely want to eat like one. I'm already drooling.
- Late Afternoon: Visit the Church. Experience the history, the art, get a sense of the place. Or, you know, sit in contemplative silence. Maybe cry a little. Sometimes history does that to me. Especially if it's the kind that's been here for ages.
- Evening: Return to the flat. Terrace time. Reflect on sausages. Maybe cry again (in a good way). Write in my journal. Drink some more beer. Stargazing. That terrace better have comfortable chairs. And no wasp nests.
Day 3: The Baltic Coast and the Quest for the Perfect Beach (and Existential Dread)
- Morning: Drive to the Baltic Sea! The coast is apparently beautiful. I'm expecting windswept beaches, dramatic cliffs, and maybe a glimpse of the sea.
- Mid-day: Find the beach. Walk on said beach. Feel the sand between my toes. Take photos of the waves. Search for seashells. Attempt to build a sandcastle. Probably fail miserably. Sand in everything. Salt in the eyes. Worth it.
- Afternoon: Lunch at a seaside cafe. Seafood, obviously. I want everything! Fresh-caught fish. Fischbrötchen (fingers crossed!). Enjoy the view. I'm hoping to have a moment of pure joy, followed by a wave of existential dread about the meaning of life and the ephemeral nature of… well, everything. Standard vacation stuff.
- Late Afternoon: More beach time. The best is yet to come, I feel it. Sit and watch the waves. Breathe the sea air deeply. Allow myself to get lost in the moment and forget the worries of everyday life.
- Evening: Dinner back at the flat. Cook something easy on the terrace. Enjoy the sunset over the Baltic… again! I never get tired of the sea.
Day 4: Schwerin Castle and the Realm of Fairytales (and Potential Disappointment)
- Morning: Drive to Schwerin Castle. This is supposed to be a fairytale palace. I'm picturing turrets, swans, and a genuine wow-moment. I’m also bracing myself for crowds and the inevitable disappointment that comes with overhyped tourist attractions.
- Mid-day: Explore the castle. Marvel (hopefully). Take a million photos. Wander the gardens. Secretly wish I could live there. I am an advocate for the arts.
- Afternoon: Lunch near the castle. Find a charming little cafe. Try to decipher the menu. Order something I can't pronounce. Love it or leave it! I love experiencing the food.
- Late Afternoon: More Schwerin. Explore the old town. Window shop. Get another coffee. Soak up the atmosphere. Try to find a quiet spot to sit and people-watch.
- Evening: Head back to the flat. Maybe a movie. Read a book. It will feel so nice to be in the flat.
Day 5: The Farewell Feast (and a Bittersweet Goodbye)
- Morning: Sleep in! Enjoy my last day on the terrace. Drink coffee. Watch the sunrise. Reflect on my trip. Feel ridiculously sad that it's almost over.
- Mid-day: Go back to where I had the best meal. Order the same dish. Savor every bite.
- Afternoon: Do some last-minute souvenir shopping. Find a local market. Buy something utterly useless but charming. Wrap it in a bow… or don't.
- Late Afternoon: Pack. Cry a little again (mostly because I'm a terrible packer). Prepare for the inevitable chaos of airport travel.
- Evening: Final terrace sunset. One last beer. Toast to Germany. Toast to the trip. Toast to myself for surviving. Savor the moment, because tomorrow it’s back to reality.
Day 6: Departure (and the Post-Vacation Blues)
- Morning: Wake up. Travel to the airport.
- Mid-day: Fly.
- Afternoon: Land.
- Evening: Home. The memories begin to flood back.
The "Messy Bits"
- Transportation: As I mentioned before, wish me luck on the Autobahn. And the rental car better have air conditioning. Summer in Germany can get hot. Hotter than I'm used to.
- Food: I fully expect to overeat. It's part of the experience, right? I really hope I don't get ill from eating the wrong thing.
- German Language: I'll embarrass myself frequently. It's inevitable. But I’ll try! Really, I will!
- Money: I'm terrible with money. Budget? What budget?
- The Terrace: This is my sanctuary! I'm dedicating extra time to it. It's going to be the best part. The calm. The peace. The beautiful light.
- Emotions: Prepare for mood swings. I might be ecstatic one minute and crying the next. Travel does that to me!
- Imperfections: This is not going to be a flawless trip. There will be screw-ups. There will be frustrations. There will be moments I want to run away and hide. And that's okay. That's part of the fun, right?
So, there you have it. The messy, honest, and slightly deranged itinerary of someone about to embark on an adventure in Germany. Wish me luck. And if you see a crazed tourist wandering around Kropelin, muttering about sausages and existential dread, come say hi! I’ll probably be on the terrace. Enjoy the silence.
(P.S. If anyone knows how to avoid wasps… please tell me.)
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Beachfront Holiday Home in Nieuwvliet!
Escape to Paradise: Detershagen Terrace FAQ - Because Let's Face It, You Have Questions (And I Have Opinions!)
Is this place *really* as good as the photos? Because let's be real, Photoshop exists.
Okay, honest moment? I'm a bit of a cynic. I went in *expecting* disappointment. You know, that crushing realization that reality never matches the brochure? Yeah, I've had that happen *plenty* of times. But... Detershagen? The terrace? It's like they *under*sold it. Seriously. The photos don’t quite capture the sheer *scale* of the terrace. It's like, a whole other level of "chill." And that view? Yeah, it's real. No filter needed. The only filter you *might* need is one to stop yourself from getting, well, tipsy from all the wine you brought to enjoy it with, like *I* did. Ahem. My point is, believe the hype, folks. It's justified. Just be warned, you may never want to go home. I certainly almost didn't.
What's the deal with the "private terrace"? Is it actually… private? Like, *really* private?
Look, privacy is *key*, right? And YES. It is *truly* private. I'm talking, get-away-with-murder private. Okay, maybe not *that* extreme, but you won’t be worrying about your neighbor’s weird gardening habits or, you know, them staring at you from the comfort of your own chair. You're up high, the view is expansive, and the only potential "intruders" are the curious birds or maybe a sneaky squirrel. (I swear I saw one eyeing my breakfast one morning!). It was actually *eerie* at first - the quiet! Then I got used to it and loved it. Peace and quiet, that’s what it is. Glorious, peaceful quiet. It's a huge relief from the city's endless chatter and the sounds of the street.
Detershagen, Germany? Where even *is* that? Sounds… rural. Which is good, but like, is there anything to *do* besides staring at said amazing terrace?
Okay, so, yeah, Detershagen is... rural. Embrace that. It's part of the charm. It's like time slows down, which I, frankly, loved. But, to answer your question, YES, there's stuff to do! You know, if you can *tear* yourself away from the terrace (which, as I said earlier – good luck). There are lovely hiking trails nearby. I actually got lost on one – epic fail – but the scenery was still stunning. So, bring a map, or your phone, or just... enjoy the scenery. You can also explore the surrounding villages, which are all ridiculously charming. Think cobblestone streets, half-timbered houses... the works. And, for the ultimate relaxation, there’s the sheer *bliss* of doing absolutely nothing. And sometimes that’s the best activity of all. I personally opted for a lot of that, and I don't regret a single second.
What's the food situation? Can I cook? Is there a grocery store nearby? Do I need to pack snacks, like, a *lot* of snacks?
Ah, the burning question of food! You are NOT stranded in the wilderness, thankfully. There *is* a kitchen, so yes, you can cook. Though, let's be real, I mainly used it for wine-opening and late-night snack prep. There's a grocery store a short drive away (definitely get a car, trust me). So, yes, pack snacks. Because snacks are essential. I loaded up on everything – crisps, cheese, biscuits, chocolate, the works. Don't judge! And also, don't forget to buy some local German sausages! They're amazing, especially when grilled on a terrace like that. Don't let this amazing grilling spot go to waste.
Okay, so *how* accessible is it? I have mobility issues / I'm traveling with elderly relatives / etc.
This is a really important question, and I want to be super clear here because accessibility can make or break a trip. Unfortunately, I don't have any details on accessibility - my own particular needs didn't require me to focus on this part of the research. I'm not sure if I can provide much help here. You should *definitely* contact the owners DIRECTLY. They'll give you the proper details, and I really recommend you ask them rather than relying on any information from someone else's experience because everyone's needs are different.
What's the WiFi like? Because, you know, gotta stay connected (I have a workaholic tendency).
The WiFi? Hmm. To be honest, I mostly ignored it. I mean, if you're going to a place like this, *really* embrace the escape! Although it works, it's not blazing fast (which, frankly, is a *good* thing). It's adequate for checking emails, catching up with friends, but if you're relying on it for a ton of video streaming or super data-intensive work stuff…well, maybe try to dial that down a bit to make some time for yourself. Otherwise, be ready to disconnect and *actually* relax. Actually, on second thought. That’s some advice! If you're stressed out, make sure you put aside a bit of time to *relax* properly. Take the time to de-stress.
Is it kid-friendly? (Or, more importantly, should I *bring* my kids?)
Okay, personal opinion time here: This place is designed for *relaxation*. It's my *opinion*, and I'm sticking to it, that it's not necessarily the *best* place for small children. I didn't see any kid-specific amenities. Now, *I* don’t have kids, so interpret that as you will. If you want a peaceful, quiet getaway, this is it. If you're picturing a relaxing week away, with peace and quiet: *perfect*. If you need to manage kids, maybe save this for a couple's retreat. Just my two cents!
Seriously though, what about the terrace? Tell me *more* about the terrace!
Okay, *fine*. You want more terrace talk? Prepare yourself. The terrace... okay, the terrace. It's the *star* of the show, truly. It’s spacious. Did I mention the view? The *view* is breathtaking. I spent hours just... *staring*. There’s a table and chairs for al fresco dining (which I did *every* night). Hotels With Kitchenettes
