Unbelievable Assisi Escape: Belvilla by OYO Archi Awaits!
Unbelievable Assisi Escape: Belvilla by OYO - Archi Awaits! (A Messy, Honest Review)
Metadata (Because, you know, SEO): Assisi Hotel Review, Italy, Belvilla by OYO, Archi Awaits, Wheelchair Accessible, Spa, Swimming Pool, Restaurant Review, Family Friendly, Romantic Getaway, Assisi Accommodation, Italy Travel, Unbelievable Escape, Hotel Review, Free Wi-Fi, Accessible Hotel, Assisi, Perugia.
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your stuffy, polished travel blog review. This is the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth about my recent "Unbelievable Assisi Escape" at Belvilla by OYO - Archi Awaits. And let me tell you, it was… an experience.
First Impressions: Arrival and… the Elevator?
So, Assisi. Magical, right? Visions of Franciscan monks and stunning views. And Belvilla by OYO - Archi Awaits is, well, there. It's perched, like, almost directly on top of the hill, which, if you're like me and have a penchant for walking (and not a lot of leg strength), is either a blessing or a curse. More on that later.
Accessibility: The Great Wheelchair Gamble
Okay, let's get the serious stuff out of the way. Accessibility: the website claimed it was wheelchair accessible. And, technically, it is accessible… mostly. The main entrance, thankfully, was ramped. Hallelujah! But the real adventure began when I tried to get to my room. Let's just say the elevator was less "smooth, breezy ascent" and more "nervously praying I don't get stuck mid-floor." It was… compact. And I'm not exactly a massive person.
There were also a few awkward bottlenecks in the hallways. So while they tried, it's not exactly a flawlessly smooth ride for someone with mobility issues. Consider yourself warned.
The Room: My Little Sanctum (and the Coffee Maker's Lament)
Once I finally conquered the elevator, I was greeted by my room. Available in all rooms: Air conditioning (thank the heavens!), a comfy bed (extra long!), and what promised to be a well-stocked minibar (more on that later – a personal tragedy was involved). The bathroom was… functional. Clean, yes. Luxurious, no. But hey, the shower worked, and the hair dryer was, miraculously, not a relic from the 1980s.
Now, the coffee/tea maker… this is where things started to go awry. Let's just say I am a caffeine-dependent lifeform. I need my morning fix. The machine… it was temperamental. It produced lukewarm, weak, vaguely brown-colored water. A true culinary catastrophe. I even attempted to use the complimentary tea, which was, at least, hot and barely saved the day.
The free Wi-Fi? Spotty. And, at one point, disappeared entirely. I’m talking complete internet blackout. It was like being suddenly transported back to the Dark Ages. (Side note: the constant need to connect to the internet kind of feels ironic while vacationing in a town steeped in history, no?)
Food, Glorious and Sometimes-Questionable, Food:
Okay, dining, drinking, and snacking. This is where Belvilla made some serious attempts to redeem itself. The restaurants offered a variety of options. There's a buffet for breakfast (I'm a sucker for a buffet!). A poolside bar, always a solid choice (perfect for hiding from the sun like a little lizard). A vegetarian restaurant. Yes, a vegetarian restaurant in Italy! (A pleasant surprise – though I wouldn't have survived without the copious amounts of cheese.)
The Asian cuisine, however, was a bold, perhaps ill-advised, move. Let's just say it wasn't authentic. (Trust me, I know my spring rolls.)
The coffee shop… well, at least the coffee was better than what I could make in the room. Small victory, I guess.
Relaxation and Recreation: Spa Day Dreams (and Sauna Nightmares)
Now for the good stuff. Ways to relax: Belvilla really leaned into the luxury angle. Spa/sauna, yes! Swimming pool (outdoor), absolutely! I envisioned myself, languidly floating in the pool, gazing at the Umbrian hills. The reality? A little less glamorous (and a little chilly). Still, the pool with a view was stunning.
The sauna, though? Let's just say it heated up a little too enthusiastically. I swear I almost spontaneously combusted. There was a moment where I seriously considered throwing myself into the swimming pool just to cool down. (I didn’t, for the record. But the thought was tempting.)
They had a fitness center, too. I’m not entirely sure what that means; I was too busy attempting to survive the sauna. (I may have been a bit dramatic, I'm not sure.)
Cleanliness and Safety: The Sanitizing Saga
Okay, 2023 – let’s be real: the world is a germ-fest. Belvilla, thankfully, took some precautions. Anti-viral cleaning products. Daily disinfection in common areas. Hand sanitizer everywhere. Staff trained in safety protocol. They were trying. The room itself felt clean, which is always a plus.
Staff: The Human Element (Mostly Positive!)
The staff were generally friendly and helpful. The concierge was particularly good, suggesting some amazing local restaurants (thank goodness for them!). The front desk (24-hour) was a lifesaver when I had a coffee-related crisis (see above – it was a dark time). They were patient with my terrible Italian and always tried to help.
Things to Do: Beyond the Hotel Walls (and the Coffee Maker)
Assisi, of course, is a treasure trove of history and beauty. The shrine, the Basilica of Saint Francis, the winding streets… Absolutely stunning. Belvilla is conveniently located (well, accessible, with the elevator situation considered) for exploring the town. They also provided a list of things to do, including tours and activities.
The Quirks, The Imperfections, The Unforgettable Moments
Okay, so it wasn't perfect. The elevator was a pain. The coffee maker was a nemesis. The Wi-Fi sometimes vanished into thin air. But… there was something charming about the imperfection. It felt… real.
There was the time I tried to order room service (Room service [24-hour] available!) at 3 AM because jet lag. Let's just say "lost in translation" doesn't even begin to cover it.
And the view from the pool, even if I was half-frozen, was breathtaking. And despite the sauna ordeal, I did get a decent foot bath.
My Verdict: Would I Go Back?
Look, Belvilla by OYO - Archi Awaits isn't flawless. But it tries. It has its quirks, its foibles, and a coffee maker that seems determined to ruin your morning. But it's also a place to relax, to explore, and to experience the magic of Assisi.
Would I go back? Maybe. With a better coffee maker (seriously, OYO, sort that out!), and with a renewed appreciation for the precarious balance of accessibility. But, most importantly, would return for that stunning view and the memory of an "Unbelievable Escape" – quirks and all. Just promise me you'll avoid the Asian food. Seriously.
Final Score: 3.5 out of 5 stars. (Minus half a star for the coffee, and another half a star for the elevator…and maybe another quarter star for the sauna)
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Noordwijk Villa, Steps from the North Sea!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because we’re about to embark on a totally UN-filtered, chaotic, and hopefully hilarious whirlwind tour of…Assisi, Italy. Specifically, our base of operations: Belvilla by OYO in (drumroll, please) Archi, which, let me tell you, already sounds like a slightly rusty, but charming, old Italian car. This itinerary is less a rigid plan and more… a suggestion. A very, very loose suggestion. Prepare for the glorious mess.
Day 1: Arrival, Panic, and Pasta (Oh, the Pasta!)
Morning (ish - who am I kidding, more like mid-afternoon): Arrive at Perugia Airport. The flight was…well, let’s just say the budget airline experience continues to teach me humility. Luggage? Mostly intact. My sanity? Debatable. Immediately, I feel like I'm in a Fellini film. Everything is too beautiful, too bright, too…Italian! (I have a serious love/hate relationship with dramatic pronouncements, you've been warned.) We somehow manage to navigate rental car chaos (another story for another time, featuring a very stressed out me and a very patient, if slightly bemused, Italian car rental agent). The car, bless its heart, is a tiny, adorable Fiat. Fingers crossed it survives the cobblestones.
Afternoon: Check in to Belvilla by OYO in Archi. Expectations: rustic charm. Reality: rustic charm with a side of "wait, is the water heater ancient Roman?" (It works, thankfully. But the sound it makes is like a dying dinosaur.) Unpack, marvel at the view (spectacular, seriously), and contemplate whether I've actually packed enough underwear. (Spoiler alert: probably not.)
Late Afternoon/Early Evening: The sacred quest for pasta begins! Wander the winding streets of Assisi, immediately getting hopelessly lost. Find a tiny trattoria that looks promising. Order ALL the pasta (tagliatelle with truffle oil, because, Italy). Sob with joy. The pasta is, in a word, transcendental. Eat so much I feel like I'm going to explode, but, you know, happy explosion.
Evening: Attempt to decipher the local wine list. Fail. Order something that sounds vaguely elegant. It is. Consume. Stare at the stars. Feel overwhelmingly grateful to be alive, even if my digestive system is currently rebelling. Stumble back to Archi, certain I've found a hidden treasure.
Day 2: Saints, Secrets, and the Search for Good Coffee
Morning: Up before dawn (or, you know, before 10 am, which is early for me on vacation). Head to the Basilica of Saint Francis of Assisi. Prepare to be overwhelmed. The art is breathtaking. The sheer weight of history is…a lot. I find myself silently whispering, "Wow" every five seconds. People are actually moved and praying. I'm standing here like a giant, slightly clumsy tourist, but I like it a bit.
Late Morning: The quest for coffee! This is a serious mission. I am, it is well known, fueled by the dark, bitter bean. Finally discover a tiny cafe with a grumpy-looking barista who, it turns out, makes the best cappuccino of my life. The language barrier is comical (my Italian is… rudimentary), but we manage to communicate through hand gestures and shared appreciation for caffeine. I'm happy now. I might even crack a smile.
Afternoon: Wander the backstreets, getting lost (again, surprise). Discover a hidden courtyard, a tiny shop selling handmade leather goods, a church that’s probably older than my grandmother. Find a gelato place. Consume. (I'm sensing a theme here.) Seriously, the gelato is life-affirming.
Late Afternoon / Early Evening: Climb (struggle) up to Rocca Maggiore, the fortress overlooking Assisi. The view is… indescribable. Breathe. Feel a sense of peace that’s quickly shattered by the hordes of tourists, but still try to enjoy it. Reflect on the fact that I've walked about 100 miles today, according to my step tracker, but haven’t burned off a single pasta calorie.
Evening: Find another restaurant. This time with a view of the sunset. It's magical and the wine is amazing again.
Day 3: Spello, Spoilage, and the Great Olive Oil Crisis
Morning: Day trip to Spello. This is the plan, at least. Which of course means that my travel instincts kick in and make me second-guess everything. Spello is famous for its flower-covered streets for the Infiorata, a thing that happens once a year. We’re not here for the Infiorata, which would mean hoards of people, and I didn’t really appreciate how beautiful Spello would be in its own right. So we arrived, and I nearly missed the true beauty of the place.
Late Morning Explore the shops, and get a gelato, of course. Then, we find the perfect olive oil and pesto.
Afternoon: Back in Assisi with a shopping bag full of olive oil
Evening Go back to our little house in the hills with our glorious treasures and collapse.
Day 4: The Unexpected, The Unforgettable, and the Reality Check.
Morning: I did it, I spent the entire morning relaxing! This is what the trip is about.
Afternoon: Say goodbye to this little piece of heaven. Drive back to the airport. I'm sad, yes, but also exhausted so it sort of evens out.
Evening: Reflect. Italy… Assisi… Belvilla… it was a mess. A beautiful, glorious, pasta-fueled mess. Would I change a thing? Absolutely not. (Okay, maybe I’d pack more underwear.)
Unbelievable Assisi Escape: Belvilla by OYO - Archi Awaits! (Or Does It?) - Your Questions, Answered (Mostly) with a Heaping Dose of Reality
So, is this "Unbelievable Assisi Escape" actually... you know... unbelievable?
Okay, deep breaths. “Unbelievable”? That's a word that gets thrown around, isn't it? Let's reframe this a bit. Was Assisi amazing? Absolutely. Majestic even! Did the Belvilla by OYO Archi *contribute* to that amazement? Well... that's where things get interesting. My first thought: "Oh. It's got an ARCH, alright." (Snort). Not exactly the "dream" I built up in my head. More like, "Huh, that's definitely a feature!" But the view... oh, the view. It’s like someone painted a postcard just for you. So, 'unbelievable' in the context of *location*? Absolutely! 'Unbelievable' in the context of a perfectly polished, flawless vacation? Probably not. And that's okay, because perfect is boring anyway, right? (Right? Ugh, that dripping faucet *was* annoying...")
Anecdote Alert! I swear, the first time I went to fill the kettle, I knocked my head on a low-hanging beam. I think I still have a bump! Charming, yes. Perfectly designed for someone who's, ahem, vertically challenged? No. But hey, at least it stopped me from drinking too much coffee and having to deal with the *toilet situation*, which we'll get to...
The Archi - What's the deal? Is it a selling point or just... there?
The Archi. It lives up to its name. It's, well, an arch. A *very* arched arch. It's incorporated into the structure. It’s the… focal point, I guess. I’d say it's more "there" than a selling point. It's unique, I'll give it that. It's like the building is winking at you. "Yeah, I'm kinda old and quirky. Deal with it." And honestly, that's the vibe of the whole place. Embrace the quirks. There's a certain charm to that, isn't there? It's not a sleek, modern hotel, blessedly. It's got *character*. Maybe a little too much character, if I'm being honest.
Rant, but not really. The stairs! Oh, the stairs. To get *to* the arch? The *arch* is right there! But anyway, to get to the bedrooms... They're steep. And narrow. And if you're me and you're a klutz, they're a potential source of a spectacular faceplant. Pack light. Seriously. Or hire a sherpa.
Is the location of the Belvilla good for exploring Assisi and the surrounding area?
Location, location, location! This is where Belvilla by OYO **wins**. Seriously. *Winning*. Assisi itself is right there! You can walk into the town. (Yes, there’s a hill. Prepare your thighs.) It's PERFECT for exploring. You're close to everything you *should* be visiting, like the Basilica of St. Francis (breathtaking!), the Rocca Maggiore (breathtaking views!), and about a million adorable little shops selling things you *absolutely don't need* but will buy anyway because, you know, vacation. Also, it's relatively near to other charming towns like Perugia. So yes, in short, the location is fantastic. I mean, the *only* thing that could make it better would be if they also provided a personal Segway to get around! But hey, you can't have it all. (Can you?)
Quirky observation: Pro tip: Pack comfortable shoes. You'll be doing a lot of walking. And take a photo of the parking. You *will* forget where you parked. I guarantee it. (Multiple beers for remembering where your car is is a small price to pay for freedom... or something.)
What about the amenities? Is the kitchen well-equipped? Is there Wi-Fi? (The essentials, people!)
Okay, let's get down to brass tacks. The kitchen... is functional. Functional is the key word here. It had the basics. Pots. Pans. A kettle that *mostly* worked. I think. (I swear I spent half my holiday trying to work out the damn kettle!). Don't expect gourmet cooking. Think "pasta with pesto from the local supermarket." That's how you want to roll. Embrace the simplicity. The Wi-Fi, on the other hand... It *existed*. Sometimes. It was a bit of a rollercoaster. Up, down, buffering, gone! (Cue dramatic music) So, if you NEED to stream Netflix, maybe download some stuff before you go. Or just... you know... *talk to the people you're with*. Shocking idea, I know.
Emotional reaction: The lack of decent Wi-Fi was frustrating at first! (I'm a workaholic, okay? Leave me alone!). But then, you know, I forgot about my emails. I actually *relaxed*. It was... oddly freeing. Maybe the lack of Wi-Fi *was* a selling point, come to think of it…
The Bathroom... what's the situation? (We need to know!)
Ah, the all-important bathroom. Let's be blunt. It was... traditional. Meaning, it wasn’t exactly a modern spa experience. The pressure in the shower was a bit… optimistic. The water *did* eventually get warm, though! (Eventually!). The toilet... well, I didn't spend *too* much time analyzing the toilet. It flushed. That's the main thing, right? Let’s just say it had character. And by "character" I mean "older plumbing". Pack extra toilet paper. Just in case. (You're welcome).
Messier structure and occasional rambles: I once was stuck on a train for hours, stuck in the middle of nowhere. It was a nightmare. The bathroom was worse. Always carry toilet paper. Seriously. And wet wipes. And maybe a small, portable sanitation station. Just in case. (See? I'm rambling. Blame the lack of caffeine.) The point is, I was relieved it the Belvilla bathroom was *manageable*. That's the best I can say about it! Manageable!
Would you recommend Belvilla by OYO's Archi for a vacation in Assisi?
