Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Farmhouse Awaits in Bemelen, Netherlands
Escape to Paradise: Bemelen's Dream Farmhouse - A Messy, Wonderful Review
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I've just clawed my way back from the Escape to Paradise farmhouse in Bemelen, Netherlands, and I'm still sorting the memories from the stroopwafels. This place… it’s a vibe. And I'm gonna spill the tea, the coffee, and maybe a little bit of the wine I definitely overindulged in. Consider this your completely unvarnished, slightly-too-enthusiastic, and probably-inaccurate review.
Metadata - Because apparently we need this stuff:
- Title: Escape to Paradise: Bemelen Farmhouse Review - Dutch Delight? (Spoiler: Mostly!)
- Keywords: Bemelen, Netherlands, farmhouse, spa, pool, restaurant, accessibility, review, vacation, travel, hotel, luxury, wellness, European vacation, family friendly, wheelchair accessible.
- Description: My brutally honest review of Escape to Paradise, the farmhouse haven in Bemelen, Netherlands. We delve into every detail: accessibility, food, fun stuff to do, the spa, the rooms, and whether it's truly paradise or just a really nice place to eat cheese.
First Impressions & Accessibility: Stumbling Out the Gate
Right from the get-go, the place looks stunning. You're talking postcard perfect Dutch countryside - rolling hills, a dusting of cows (yes, actual cows!), and that iconic green-and-white farmhouse. My breath caught. I mean, seriously, the marketing team deserves a raise.
Accessibility: This is where things got a little messy. The website touted "wheelchair accessibility," but the reality was… nuanced. Some areas, like the main restaurant, were definitely accessible. The elevators are a godsend for anyone with mobility issues, and the staff tried their best. But navigating the charming, yet often uneven, paths around the grounds felt a bit like a treasure hunt. I witnessed someone in a wheelchair having a minor meltdown trying to get to the outdoor pool. Emphasis on minor, and the staff rushed to help. So, it’s a work in progress, folks. Do your homework and call ahead!
The Good Stuff - Bliss and Bottles of Water!
Okay, let's dive into the good stuff, the bit that makes you feel like you've been transported to a fairy tale.
The Pool with a View: Oh sweet mother of all things relaxing, the outdoor pool overlooking the valley is heavenly. Sparkling water, a sun lounger, and a view to melt your worries. I spent a good chunk of my time here, switching off my brain and trying to pretend I was a famous actress in a glamorous beach film. I felt so relaxed, I almost fell asleep in my cocktail. (They have a poolside bar. Do I need to say more?)
The Spa: Alright, let's be real, I'm a sucker for a good spa. And Escape to Paradise delivers. I spent so much time in the sauna, I'm pretty sure I sweated out all the toxic things I ate in the past decade. The massages were divine. Seriously, melt-in-your-chair good. I went back for a second one because, well, you only live once. The steamroom was also fantastic, a perfect place to recharge. They had a foot bath! I'm a sucker for foot baths.
Things to Do: There's a Fitness center and gym. I looked at the fitness center and made a promise to myself I'd actually use it on my next trip. (Spoiler alert: I did not. I was too busy eating cheese and enjoying the spa). They also have cycling! They have all sorts!
The Food, The Drinks, and Everything In Between: This is where Escape to Paradise truly shines. The food is exquisite, with something to keep every type of tastebuds happy. The Asian Cuisine rocked! Who knew a farm house in the Netherlands could do authentic Asian so well?
- The Restaurants: Several restaurants! The staff was brilliant. The buffet had the best croissants I've ever tasted. The breakfast was wonderful! I was so impressed, I was in heaven.
- Happy Hour: Yes! Every evening there was a happy hour, with cocktails and appetizers. The drinks menu was so good, I almost forgot I was on holiday.
- Room Service: 24-hour room service! Seriously, if you're feeling lazy (and I'm very familiar with this feeling), this is the ultimate indulgence.
- The Bars: The poolside bar and the bar inside were both well-stocked and served tasty drinks.
The Nitty Gritty: Cleanliness, Safety, and Annoying Details
- Cleanliness & Safety: Okay, let's talk about the pandemic. They clearly took it seriously. Hand sanitizer everywhere, staff masked up, and a general feeling of cleanliness that I really appreciated. They had anti-viral cleaning products, individually-wrapped food options, and even room sanitization opt-out (which is a nice touch). Safe dining setups and sanitized kitchen and tableware items were a definite plus.
- Internet & Tech Stuff: Free wi-fi in all rooms! Praise be! It was generally reliable, which is a lifesaver when you’re trying to upload Instagram stories of your perfect vacation.
- The Room: The rooms themselves are lovely, if not perfect. My room had a massive, comfy bed, a great view. It also boasted:
- Air conditioning! (A must, trust me.).
- Complimentary bottled water (Godsend!)
- Coffee/tea maker (Essential for a caffeine addict).
- Safe (handy for hiding the passport from myself).
- Little Annoyances: The website's a little clunky. Some rooms needed a little more love (a slightly dodgy lightbulb, maybe). Noise from the outside hallways was a tiny issue. And the price! This place ain't cheap, but does it deserve the price?
The "Things to Do" Rundown
- Ways to Relax: Spa, sauna, steamroom, pool, sun loungers, reading… all the good stuff.
- For the Kids: They seemed to have kid facilities. I don't have kids. I spent most of my time avoiding any. And I only saw kids once.
- Services and Conveniences: Daily housekeeping was top-notch. Car park, air conditioning in public areas, and a concierge who could get you anything (within reason, of course).
The Verdict: Would I Return?
Yes. Absolutely. Despite a few minor niggles, Escape to Paradise is a truly special place. The stunning setting, the exceptional food, the relaxing spa (especially the spa), and the overall vibe make it a winner. It's the kind of place where you can truly unwind, recharge, and forget the stresses of everyday life. Just… be prepared for a tiny bit of imperfection. But hey, that's life, right? And in this case, the imperfections add to the charm.
Final Thought: Treat yourself. You deserve it. And pack extra stretchy pants for the buffet.
Unbelievable Wildlife & Cozy Stays: Your Dream Achterhoek Arnhem Getaway!
Okay, buckle up buttercup, because this isn't your perfectly manicured travel blog itinerary. This is the REAL DEAL, a messy, glorious, slightly-off-kilter account of my trip to a Cozy Farmhouse in Bemelen and Terrace Margraten, Netherlands. Prepare for tangents, opinions, and the occasional existential crisis fueled by too much stroopwafel. Let's do this…
Day 1: Arrival, Chaos, and the Quest for Coffee (Bemelen - The Dream…Mostly)
- Morning (6:00 AM - The Apocalypse): I swear, my luggage weighs more than me. Dragging that beast through the airport felt like a physical manifestation of my life's baggage. Note to self: Pack light. Hahaha. Yeah right. The flight was uneventful… except for that kid behind me who kicked my seat for the entire duration. Pure. Agony. But! We landed in Maastricht! Huzzah!
- Mid-Morning (8:00 AM - 11:00 AM): Car rental… oh, the car rental. They gave me a Citroen. A CITROEN. I felt like I was driving a chic French loaf. And I knew I looked ridiculous trying to navigate the cobblestone streets. Google Maps hates cobblestone! Got gloriously lost for a joyful hour before finally finally finding the damn Cozy Farmhouse. (I blame the Citroen, I REALLY DO.)
- Afternoon (11:00 AM - 2:00 PM): The Farmhouse! Oh. My. God. It was gorgeous. Like something out of a fairytale… with, you know, REAL plumbing. Rustic charm overload. The kind of place that makes you want to spontaneously start knitting and adopt a goat (tempting…). The welcome basket contained gouda cheese, stroopwafels (YES!), and…instant coffee. Instant coffee. My heart sank. I'm a coffee snob, okay? But the view, though, was pure, rolling green hills dotted with sheep. Beauty overcomes poor coffee.
- Late Afternoon (2:00 PM - 5:00 PM): Desperate coffee run. Found a charming village called Bemelen. And a proper coffee shop! Small victory. Wandered around, feeling all "European" and sophisticated (until I tripped over a rogue cobblestone, mortification level: 100). Ended up in a tiny antique shop filled with dusty treasures. Brought a vintage wooden spoon (which I’ll probably never use but MUST HAVE).
- Evening (5:00 PM - Bedtime): Tried to make a simple pasta dish. Mishap #1: overcooked the pasta. Mishap #2: burnt garlic. Mishap #3: forgot the salt. Ended up eating a slightly disastrous, but still satisfying, (and very garlicky) meal with a glass of Dutch wine. Then, collapsed into bed, exhausted but happy. Dreaming of sheep and better coffee.
Day 2: Exploring Margraten & (Attempting) to Embrace History (and Cycling! - Oh God, The Cycling)
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Coffee success! Found the secret weapon for brewing a decent cup in the Kitchen. Victory. Breakfast on the terrace, the perfect start for the day. The weather Gods were smiling.
- Mid-Morning (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): Margraten! The American Cemetery. Okay, I'm not gonna lie, I got choked up. The sheer scale of it, the stillness, the rows upon rows of white crosses… it's a powerful, sobering experience. I’m not a history buff, but it hits you hard. Really hard. Spent ages just walking around, reading names, trying to process it all. Was surprised at how much of an emotional reaction I had, and how much appreciation and thankfulness washed over me.
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): CYCLING. They have bikes at the farmhouse. "Easy cycling routes", they said. Famous last words. Rented one. I'm not a cyclist. More like a wobbly-wheeled, near-miss-with-a-tractor…er. The rolling hills… they were relentless. Almost cried. (Almost. Only the sheep saw.) But, the views! Stunning. Worth the near-death experience. Learned that Dutch cycling infrastructure is amazing. Probably saved my life.
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Spa treatment. There's a lovely spa in the area called Thermae 2000. So I thought it was a perfect, self-indulgent reward for surviving the cycling. It was glorious. Massages, saunas, and being pampered like a Queen. Pure bliss.
- Evening (7:00 PM - Bedtime): Dinner in a local restaurant in Margraten. Ordered something in Dutch that I didn't understand (per usual). Ended up with a plate full of deliciousness. Dutch food is surprisingly good! Strolled back to the farmhouse under a canopy of stars. So tired but satisfied. Dreaming of sheep, better coffee, and never seeing a bike again.
Day 3: The Day I Fell In Love… with a Cheese Shop
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Lazy start. Breakfast on the terrace. The sun was out, and the air smelled of fresh-cut grass. Seriously, the smell in the Netherlands is intoxicating. I do not want to leave.
- Mid-Morning (10:00 AM - 1:00 PM): The market in Maastricht. A vibrant, bustling market with everything from fresh produce to flowers. The cheese stalls… oh, the cheese stalls. I spent a shameful amount of time sampling every cheese that caught my eye. And even better, I bought all of them. The shopkeepers were patient and friendly. I may or may not now have enough cheese to feed an army for the next six months. It's a problem. A delicious problem!
- Afternoon (1:00 PM - 4:00 PM): Back to Bemelen. Explored the village a bit more. Found a tiny bakery that sold the most amazing bread. And stroopwafels. More stroopwafels. I'm pretty sure I put on five pounds in the last three days. Worth it.
- Late Afternoon (4:00 PM - 7:00 PM): Took my treasure trove of cheese and bread and went exploring some more. I found a hidden stream and sat by it for hours, just watching the water flow. This felt like pure meditation. I was at peace. I forgot my phone and went for a spontaneous hike. It was bliss.
- Evening (7:00 PM until bedtime): Cheese and wine on the terrace. The perfect ending to the perfect day. So content. So happy. So full of cheese. Dreaming of sheep, better coffee, endless cheese, and maybe… just maybe… a little bit of cycling. (Kidding! Mostly.)
Day 4: Farewell, Farmhouse. Adventures in the Unknown
- Morning (8:00 AM - 10:00 AM): Last Breakfast. And it was amazing. The farmhouse was just perfect to relax in. This whole trip was the best gift I have ever allowed myself to have.
- Mid-Morning (10:00 AM - 12:00 PM): Final stroll around the area. I think I am going to miss this place so dearly. I did not want to leave!
- Afternoon (12:00 PM - departure): Back to the airport. Dealing with the Citroen again. (Still hate it.) Goodbye, Netherlands! Until next time!
Final Thoughts:
So there you have it. A glimpse into my Dutch adventure. It wasn't perfect. There were bumps, mishaps, and moments of pure, unadulterated bliss. And that's what made it so unforgettable. This is what makes travel unique. I left with better memories, more money spent, and a newfound appreciation for cheese and cycling (sort of). Would I go back? In a heartbeat. Just maybe, next time, I'll learn to pack lighter. And maybe, just maybe, I'll bring my own coffee. Also, definitely will bring my own bike.
Escape to Paradise: Stunning Holiday Home w/ Private Jetty near Hoorn & Medemblik!
Escape to Paradise: Bemelen Farmhouse - FAQ (Because Let’s Be Real, You Need Answers!)
So, is this *really* a dream farmhouse? Because my dreams usually involve me forgetting to wear pants.
Okay, let's be brutally honest. It *can* feel like a dream. The pictures? Yeah, they're pretty. But my first thought stepping onto the cobblestone path? "Wow, this is A LOT of cobblestone. And those bikes... are they all *mine* to dust?" Seriously, the charm hits you like a rogue tulip bulb in your face. But the reality? There’s probably a rogue spider the size of your thumb lurking somewhere. (Don't worry, I haven't met him yet, but I'm prepared). Things are not always perfect, and that’s the best part!
Where *exactly* is this "Paradise" located? And is it, like, accessible? I hate driving.
Bemelen, Netherlands. Picture postcard-perfect. It's in Limburg province, which means rolling hills, vineyards (yes, *vineyards!*), and a general feeling of "life is good." Getting there? Alright, I'll be honest, I'm not a fan of public transport. But you *can* get there! Maastricht is the closest major city and it has an airport and a train station. Then it's a delightful little bus ride that's about as Dutch as it gets. They say it's "accessible," but "accessible" with a toddler and 17 suitcases? That's a different story. Think of it as a *journey* and not a slog.
What's the farmhouse *actually* like inside? Because sometimes those photos are... optimistic.
Right! The photos. They're great. But let me tell you about the *smell*. The good kind. That deep, earthy, old-wood, 'been-here-for-centuries' kind of smell. Then there's the kitchen. Not a sterile, minimalist space. It’s the beating heart of the house. Old beams, a massive farmhouse table that begs for storytelling (and maybe a spilled glass of wine or two). The upstairs? Oh, the bedrooms. Cozy, with proper duvets, and windows that look out onto… well, sometimes cows, sometimes the neighbor's *very* well-manicured garden. Let's be honest, it's charmingly imperfect. There's probably a wonky floorboard somewhere, a cupboard door that sticks... that's part of the magic! I am obsessed with it, because I like things, you know, *real*.
What am I *actually* going to do there? Besides, you know, Instagramming the heck out of it.
Okay, let's break it down, because Instagram is *not* real life entirely. You're gonna... Breathe. Deeply. The air is so clean, you'll feel like you've been detoxing in a spa for a week. You can walk through the vineyards. Visit the caves (pretty spooky, TBH). Bike (those bikes I mentioned? They’re calling your name). Eat incredible food (the *stroopwafels* will haunt your dreams, in a good way). You can actually *relax*. I spent an afternoon reading a book under a tree one time, and I honestly forgot what day it was. It was pure bliss. And the evenings? Fireplace, a glass of wine, and the kind of conversations that actually *matter*. And if you’re with kids: prepare for mud-pie making and endless exploring (and maybe slightly more chaos than you’re used to).
What about the local culture? Will I accidentally insult someone?
Oh, the Dutch are wonderful. Seriously. They're friendly, direct (which is nice, really), and genuinely welcoming. "Accidentally insulting someone?" You're probably safe. Just avoid talking politics unless you *really* know what you're talking about (and even then...). And don't try to drive on the bike paths. That's a surefire way to get the stink eye. Learn to say "dank je wel" (thank you) and "goedemorgen" (good morning). That'll open more doors than you can imagine. Oh, and be prepared for the *gezelligheid* - that feeling of coziness and conviviality that the Dutch practically invented. They eat cheese and drink beer and generally enjoy life. Follow their lead!
Okay, the kids. Will they be bored? Because my kids consider "screen time" a fundamental human right.
Hahaha! I get it. The screens. My advice? Come prepared with a charger, but also come prepared to *lose* the screens. Let those little monkeys run wild outside! There's space to play, trees to climb, animals to observe (the chickens are particularly entertaining). Teach them to make mud pies. Bike rides! Walks! And you know what? They might actually *enjoy* it. My own little monsters forgot about the screens in, like, three hours flat. The freedom of roaming around and experiencing nature... it's magical. That said, pack the wet wipes, because they *will* get dirty.
Food: Where and what do I eat? Please say cheese. Tell me about the cheese.
YES. Cheese, cheese, and more cheese! The Netherlands is a dairy paradise. Go to the local markets (try one, seriously, they're *amazing*), stuff your face with Gouda, Edam, and everything in between. And don't forget the *stroopwafels*. They’re little syrup waffles, and they're heaven on Earth. You can also find amazing bakeries with fresh bread, and butcher shops with delicious meats. Lots of great restaurants. Ask the locals for recommendations. They know where the good stuff is. I remember one time, I got this *amazing* ham sandwich from a little place down the street. I went back five times that week. That sandwich was the stuff of legends! Eat. Enjoy. Repeat.
This all sounds great, but are there downsides? Is it *really* perfect? Because… realism.
*Sigh*. Okay. Let's be real. It's not *perfect*. The Wi-Fi can be a bit spotty (which, honestly, is probably a blessing in disguise). You might get caught in a downpour while you're out biking. You might have to sweep up leaves (the joys of a farmhouse!). Mosquitoes! Be prepared for those little bloodsuckers. And the language barrier? Yeah. My Dutch is, shall we say, *basic*. But here’s the thing: it's the imperfections that make it…real. It's the little frustrations, the quirky quirks of the house, the feeling of being away from "normal" life that makes the experience so rewarding. This is a place to slow down, connect, and remember what truly matters. And even if you do forget yourPremium Stay Search
