Escape to The Hague: Stunning Beachfront Home w/ 2 Baths!
Escape to The Hague: Beach Bliss or Beach Blah? A Brutally Honest Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I just spent a whirlwind few days at "Escape to The Hague: Stunning Beachfront Home w/ 2 Baths!" And let me tell you, the name is a bit of a misnomer. "Stunning" is subjective, and "beachfront" requires a very generous interpretation of "beach." But hey, let's dive in, shall we? This is going to be…unfiltered.
First Impressions & Accessibility: The Gatekeeper of Dreams (and Stairs)
From the get-go, the accessibility game felt…off. While the listing does claim some "Facilities for disabled guests," my initial scouting felt like a treasure hunt for ramps and wide doorways. Sadly, I have a friend who uses a wheelchair, and the lack of specific details on what "Facilities" actually entailed made me nervous. The thought of navigating cobblestone streets (typical of The Hague, right?) further added to the anxiety. (Accessibility: Mixed. Needs more clarity.)
- Things I Loved (Sort of): The front desk staff was incredibly friendly, even if the elevator was a squeeze for my oversized luggage. The "doorman" – bless his soul – always greeted me with a smile, even when I was looking like I'd wrestled a rogue wave.
- Things That Made Me Grumble: The entrance was…well, a few steps up. Not ideal for anyone with mobility issues. Parking situation was a nightmare. Free parking onsite? Lies! (Well, technically, nearby parking felt like a free-for-all).
Rooms That (Mostly) Delivered: A Tale of Two Bathrooms
The room itself felt…spacious. (Okay, it probably was spacious, but after squeezing through the lobby, anything would have felt big!) It had all the essentials: air conditioning (praise the heavens!), a comfortable bed, and a working TV. There was a coffee/tea maker, which is practically a lifeline for me, and the free Wi-Fi? Solid. (Available in all rooms!) Kudos.
- The Bathroom Saga: Now, the two bathrooms? That was the selling point, right? Well, one was…perfectly fine. Clean, functional, all the modern amenities. The other? Let’s just say it had a certain…charm. It resembled something out of a historical novel. It was cramped, a little musty, and the water pressure was a cruel joke. Two bathrooms, but only one truly usable one. Sigh.
The Fine Print of Cleanliness & Safety: Sanitized or Just…Swept Over?
- The Hygiene Theater: Look, I'm not a germaphobe per se. But in today's world, I appreciate a place that takes cleanliness seriously. The "Anti-viral cleaning products" and "Daily disinfection in common areas" sounded promising. However, the smell of sanitiser was more subtle than I’d hoped for, and the "Sanitized kitchen and tableware items" weren't exactly something I could verify myself. It was all a bit…vague. "Rooms sanitized between stays"? Probably, but you're still left wondering.
- The Buffer Zone: While there was "Physical distancing of at least 1 meter," finding that meter during breakfast was a feat of Olympic proportions. I have to say, even in the common areas, it felt a tad too relaxed for my taste.
Food & Drink: A Buffet of…Mediocrity?
The hotel boasted a sprawling array of dining options: "Restaurants," "A la carte in restaurant," "Breakfast [buffet]," "Coffee shop," even a sad little "Snack bar." It sounds impressive on paper. The reality, however, was…mixed.
Breakfast Blues: The breakfast buffet was a bit of a free-for-all. "Asian Cuisine" looked sadly undercooked. "Western" options, were, well, western. The coffee tasted like dishwater. (I am an avid coffee drinker, and the first sip was the hardest.) I did appreciate the "Breakfast takeaway service." I found myself regularly escaping the chaos with a pre-packed pastry.
The Poolside Bar: Promises…Delivered The "Poolside bar" was the real MVP. The poolside bar was a dream! The sun, the breeze and the expertly crafted cocktails were a delightful experience, and made me momentarily forget about the underwhelming breakfast.
The Vegetarian Conundrum: I am not a vegetarian, but my friend is. I was told there were "Vegetarian restaurants", but they where not actually on site, and I think they where some kind of mis-leading advertisement or a list of restaurants elsewhere.
Relaxation & Recreation: Promises, Promises…
"Spa," "Sauna," "Steamroom," "Swimming pool [outdoor]" – the listing promised a veritable oasis of relaxation. The reality was…murkier.
- The Pool with a View: A Distant Dream: The "Pool with view"? Well, you could see a suggestion of a view, but the pool itself was…small. And the water felt a little…chilly.
- The Fitness Center: "Fitness center", Gym/fitness- It had machines I'd never seen before, and probably would never use. I stayed a bit away after.
Services & Amenities: A Mixed Bag of Perks and Quirks
Let's be honest, the hotels had a good array of amenities.
- Contactless check-in/out: (Hallelujah!)
- Concierge: (helpful)
- Cash withdrawal: (handy)
- Dry cleaning & laundry service: (Thank you!)
BUT:
- The "Shrine": No idea why this was here.
- The lack of a convenience store was a major blunder, I kept having to ask for some extra bottles of water.
- Meeting/Banquet facilities: (Not applicable to me)
The Verdict: Worth the Escape?
Honestly? It depends. If you're looking for a perfectly polished beachfront escape, with high expectations for accessibility and culinary excellence, this might not be the place. But, if you're like me and are okay with a few quirks, charming (and smelly) bathrooms, a bit of a gamble with the food, and a prime location, you might just find yourself having a reasonably good time. I'd say it's a solid 3 out of 5 stars. Mostly because of the poolside bar!
Escape to Paradise: Your Dream Cottage Awaits in Nouvelle-Aquitaine!
Okay, buckle up, buttercups! This isn't your perfectly curated travel blog. This is real life. This is me, about to have a mini-meltdown, and then hopefully, a glorious time in The Hague. And I'm dragging YOU along for the ride.
The Hague Holiday: Operation Relax (or at least, TRY to Relax)
Day 1: Arrival and Initial Panic (Beach-Side Bliss? We’ll See…)
- 10:00 AM (ish) - Amsterdam Airport Schiphol: The Great Luggage Hunt. Okay, first hurdle. Found the flight easy, even managed to snag a window seat (score!). But… where is my suitcase? Cue the internal screaming. Seriously, the conveyor belt is mocking me. It's become a personal vendetta. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, there it is, battered and bruised, but mine. Victory! Though the victory dance may or may not have involved a slightly embarrassing jig.
- 11:30 AM - Train to The Hague: Trains are supposed to be efficient, right? Well, the ticket machine ate my credit card. Cue more screaming, this time external. Managed to flag down a kindly Dutch family who helped me out. Their kids gave me the stink eye though, pretty sure they thought I was a total mess. Train journey, uneventful (thank god).
- 1:00 PM - Arrival at the Holiday Home: "Luxury" Meets Reality. Okay, online photos always lie. The home itself is near the beach, that’s a major win. Two bathrooms – YES! But the "cozy" living room? More like "slightly cramped and in desperate need of a spring clean." Found some dead flowers on the table, some sand in the living room and it's not even our fault. Let the unpacking begin… And the immediate hunt for the cleaning supplies. This place needs some serious TLC. I love it, I hate it, I’m already bonding with it.
- 2:00 PM - Beach Walk (and a Near-Disaster). Okay, deep breaths. Beach time. Gotta embrace the Dutch weather, which is currently… gusty. The wind nearly ripped my scarf off. Saw a dog chase a seagull, that was fun. Almost tripped over some seaweed, narrowly avoided face-planting in the sand. And then, the ocean. So much beauty and serenity. I'm starting to get it. Breathe in the salty air. This trip might, just might, be worth it.
- 4:00 PM - Grocery Store Gauntlet: Attempted to buy groceries. Dutch supermarkets: an adventure. Everything is in a language I don't understand, I'm pretty sure I just bought a jar of pickled… something. Praying it's not a cat. Successfully located the wine though, so all is not lost.
- 6:00 PM - Dinner and Existential Crisis: Pickled… thing notwithstanding, I whipped up a quick pasta dish. Ate it while staring out the window at the waves. Feeling the post-travel slump, and also a healthy dose of "am I really doing the right thing with my life?" The wine helps. A LOT.
Day 2: Culture, Canals, and Questionable Choices
- 9:00 AM - Breakfast and the Eternal Struggle of Coffee: Dutch coffee. Strong. Very strong. Possibly too strong. Already buzzing. Spent way too long trying to figure out the coffee machine. Nearly flooded the kitchen. Again.
- 10:00 AM - Mauritshuis Museum: Okay, Rembrandt! Vermeer! The Girl with the Pearl Earring! Spectacular. Absolutely breathtaking. Spent a good hour just staring at that painting, lost in the details. Feeling a pang of something… profound. Art is good for the soul. So is a comfortable pair of shoes. My feet are already screaming.
- 12:00 PM - Lunch and a Meltdown Over a Sandwich: Found a cute little cafe. Ordered a sandwich. The waiter, bless his heart, misunderstood my request and brought me a sandwich with, and I kid you not, pickled herring. Pickled herring! Tears may have been shed. The sandwich, however, was un-eatable so I left the cafe and I felt like crying.
- 2:00 PM - Canal Cruise (or, How to Get Seasick Without Actually Being on the Sea): Thought a canal cruise would be relaxing. Wrong. The boat was packed, I got stuck behind a bunch of screaming children, and the gentle rocking… well, let's just say I barely avoided losing my lunch. Still, the city looks lovely from the water, even sideways.
- 4:00 PM - Binnenhof Visit (and the Unexpected Charm of Bureaucracy): The Binnenhof is the heart of Dutch politics. Honestly? Expected to feel bored. Instead, I found the architecture fascinating, and for some reason, watching the politicians milling about was strangely… soothing? Maybe it's the historical significance. Or maybe I'm just punch-drunk on coffee and wine.
- 6:00 PM - Beach Stroll, Sunset Serenade, and a Moment of… Contentment: The sun setting over the North Sea. The sky is all fiery oranges and purples. Found a quiet spot on the sand with my pick of things. Took the time to listen to my music and watch people. Realized I wasn't thinking about the messy place, the luggage, the herring. Feeling… good. Really good. Okay, The Hague, you're starting to grow on me.
Day 3: Scheveningen Pier, Seafood, and a Farewell (Maybe? Not Really…)
- 9:00 AM - Pancake Pilgrimage (because, Netherlands): Found a pancake house. Ordered some. Ate them at the speed of light, like a hungry beast. They were heavenly. Worth every single calorie.
- 10:00 AM - Scheveningen Pier: Tourist Trap, or Totally Worth It? Okay, Scheveningen Pier is pure touristville. But… it's kind of fun. Roller coaster, Ferris wheel, arcade games. Embraced my inner child. Won a giant stuffed panda (don't judge). The sea air is invigorating, and the view from the pier is amazing.
- 12:00 PM - Seafood Extravaganza: Decided to be brave and try some fresh seafood. Ordered a plate of… things. Turns out, I love herring. The same herring I hated in the sandwich? Yep. Life is full of contradictions and unexpected delights.
- 2:00 PM - Beach Lounging and People-Watching: Found a cozy beach club. Ordered a drink. Spent a blissful hour just soaking up the sun, watching the seabirds, and eavesdropping on conversations. The people-watching is epic. So many quirky characters.
- 4:00 PM - Last-Minute Souvenir Hunt (and the Price of Clutter): Okay, souvenir time. Because how else will I remember all the pickled things, Dutch coffee mishaps, and the near-death experience with the waves? Tried to resist buying anything else, but then I saw a tiny, ceramic clog. Couldn't resist. My luggage is officially doomed.
- 6:00 PM - Sunset Farewell (or at least, a Temporary Goodbye): Back to the beach. Another glorious sunset. The colors are even more vibrant than yesterday. Feeling a pang of sadness at the thought of leaving. The Hague, you've been a messy, frustrating, and unexpectedly wonderful companion.
- 7:00 PM - The Hague to Amsterdam: The Great Train Shuffle, Part 2: Headed to the train station and the train's delayed. I'm a mess and I'm already looking forward to the next trip.
- 8:00 PM - Amsterdam: The Great, Great Departure: Here we are. The end. Or is it just the beginning?
Escape to The Hague: Your Absolutely Un-Normal FAQ!
Okay, okay, so *beachfront*... is that like, *really* beachfront, or "beach-adjacent" like my Aunt Mildred claims her cottage is?
Girl, let me tell you. This isn't "wind carries the faint smell of brine" beachfront. This is "step out of the door, practically trip over a sandcastle" beachfront. You can LITERALLY throw a Frisbee and hit the North Sea (don't actually *do* that, please, unless you have a spare). I mean, I've stayed in places before where the "ocean view" was a distant shimmer through a heavily-treed parking lot. This? This is the real deal. First morning there? Woke up, bleary-eyed, stumbled onto the balcony... and BAM. The ocean. Seriously, almost cried. It's magnificent. It’s also probably where I'd hide if I ever needed to disappear. Just saying.
Two baths! That's a godsend. Are they... you know... *clean* baths? Because I have standards.
Okay, confession. I am a bath snob. I *judge* a place on its bathroom situation. The answer? Mostly yes! One is a glorious, modern affair that I was convinced was haunted by the ghost of a minimalist interior designer because it was so pristine (and honestly... a little intimidating. I’m messy). The other... well, let's just say it's been *lived in*. It's perfectly functional, clean-ish (I did a thorough scrub – I'm not a heathen!), and has a certain… charm. Think vintage tiles. Think slightly less-than-perfect grout. Think, "This is a bathroom that *understands* how much dry shampoo I use." It’s human. It's relatable. It made me feel less guilty about my own messy life. And hey, two baths, two chances to escape the kids (shhh! Don’t tell them!).
What about the kitchen? Can I actually *cook* in it, or is it just for show? Because I'm a foodie, kinda. Okay, a *hungry* person.
Oh, the kitchen! Now *that's* a story. First off, it's got all the things. Seriously, everything. Cooktop, oven, microwave, even a little espresso machine that I managed to operate (miracle!). I even made… gasp… *paella* (Don't judge, okay? I looked up a recipe!). It was ALMOST edible! But here's the *messy* part. I, in my culinary enthusiasm, managed to create a dish-washing situation that… let's just say, required some serious elbow grease. The dishwasher worked, *eventually* (a few strategic button pushes later). But the sheer amount of mess I created was… impressive. I think the Hague may have felt the seismic shift. So yeah, the kitchen's great. But bring cleaning supplies. And maybe a therapy session planned for afterwards (for yourself, and possibly the kitchen).
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, you know, I’m addicted to my phone. Don't judge me!
Yes! Thank the internet gods! And it's pretty decent, too. I didn't experience a complete internet blackout which I always expect and plan for. My phone may have *accidentally* been glued to my hand the entire time (don't tell my husband!). But here's a little tip: the ocean is seriously distracting, so maybe set some boundaries (easier said than done, I know!). The beach is a better digital detox than any app. If you’re feeling brave, I’d recommend taking a walk down the beach without it. Let the waves drown out your thoughts. Pure bliss, except I do worry about leaving my phone alone too. But you'll figure it out.
What's nearby? Like, can I get groceries, or am I stranded in a beachfront wilderness? Because I also need snacks.
Don’t worry, Snack-Hunter! You're not marooned. There are shops nearby which I’m just going to say have everything you need. There's a grocery store a short walk or bike ride (I’m not super fit, so I chose the walk. It was glorious!). Restaurants, cute little cafes, and even a place that sold ridiculously delicious stroopwafels (you HAVE to try them!). I spent a frankly embarrassing amount of money on those stroopwafels. Just... go. You won't regret it. Or maybe you will, after you've eaten the whole box... but, hey, YOLO, right? Plus, the beach is right there to walk off the stroopwafel-induced sugar rush. It's a win-win! Oh, and the tram is a quick way to get to the city center... but frankly, I spent most of my time right there on the beach, staring at the waves, and pretending I didn't have any responsibilities at all. (Worked like a charm, except for the laundry.)
Is it family-friendly? (I have small, loud humans…)
Yes! Absolutely yes! Now, I can’t *guarantee* your small, loud humans will be miraculously well-behaved (mine weren’t!), but the house is great for it. The proximity to the beach is an absolute lifesaver. They can run around, get sandy, make a mess, and you can just… watch them from the comfort of the balcony with a coffee (or, let's be honest, a sneaky glass of wine). There’s space, there’s beds, there's even a good selection of board games (which, in my house, led to a serious Monopoly meltdown). And hey, you can always escape to your pristine, almost-haunted bathroom for some peace and quiet. I sure did. More than once. No regrets! Just prepare for the sand. So. Much. Sand. Everywhere.
Okay, final question. What's the *one thing* that I should *absolutely, positively* not forget?
Alright, the *one* thing? Besides your sanity (which, let's face it, may be on vacation of its own while you're there)? A really, *really* good book. Or three. Bring something you can get completely lost in. Something you can read while the waves crash, while you sip your coffee, while you hide in the almost-haunted bathroom. Something to help you disappear. Because this place… it’s magical. You’ll want to stay forever. Trust me. I almost did. And I *still* think about it. Okay, I'm going to book again now. Goodbye!
