Escape to The Hague: Stunning Beachfront Holiday Home with Fireplace!
Escape to The Hague: A Review That’s More Beach Sand Than Polish
Alright, buckle up, because I just got back from a stay at "Escape to The Hague: Stunning Beachfront Holiday Home with Fireplace!" and I'm still unpacking my suitcase… and my brain. This isn't going to be your typical polished travel review, you’ve been warned. This is gonna be a bit… real.
SEO & Metadata Jargon, Ugh… (But I’ll Play Along):
- Keywords: The Hague, Beachfront, Holiday Home, Fireplace, Accessibility, Spa, Swimming Pool, Dining, Wi-Fi, Pet-Friendly (ish), Safety, Luxury, Family, Couples, Travel, Netherlands
- Meta Description: A brutally honest and detailed review of "Escape to The Hague" beachfront holiday home. Discover its quirks, triumphs, and downright hilarious moments. Accessibility, dining, and that darn fireplace get the full treatment!
(Deep Breath…) Let’s Dive In:
The Arrival & That Initial "Wow" Factor (Or Lack Thereof)
Okay, so the website photos are, understandably, flattering. The reality?… Well, it’s definitely beachfront. That much is true. The moment I stepped out of the car (parked in the thankfully free car park on-site - score!), I felt a gust of salty air and a wave of… mild confusion in terms of the signage situation. Finding the right entrance took a minute. Now, I'm not the most patient person, but the check-in/out [express] was quick, the staff seemed genuinely happy to see me.
Accessibility - For the Love of All Sandcastles, Make It Easier!
(RANT ALERT!) Look, I'm not in a wheelchair, but I appreciate good accessibility. This is where things get a little… sticky. The website promises facilities for disabled guests, but let's be honest, this place is mostly not wheelchair accessible. Forget about the beach – unless you're a champion sand-surfer. There were elevator access to the rooms, thankfully.
(A Tangent About Stairs and My Lack of Athleticism…) I’m just going to say it, the stairs to the outdoor swimming pool and terrace gave me the side-eye. Okay? Anyway…
The Room - My Personal Beachfront Bunker (With Minor Issues)
My room? Okay, it was HUGE. Seriously, the size of my London flat. It had a fireplace (yes!), air conditioning (thank god!), and a balcony with a stunning view (double yes!).
- Inside: The room had a separate shower/bathtub, bathrobes and slippers, complimentary tea, mini bar and a hair dryer (I will forever forget that one on my own). In the room there were also free bottled water, in-room safe box, sofa and satellite/cable channels.
- The "Things That Could Be Improved" List: The carpeting felt a bit… dated. And the décor? Let’s just say it wasn’t exactly "contemporary chic." More like "Grandma's Beach House" (but in a good way, mostly.) Also, as much as I loved the blackout curtains, they were a bit too effective at blocking out the sun. I woke up, disoriented, at 10 AM, convinced it was still 3 AM. The soundproofing was also superb, I enjoyed a very good night's sleep.
The Spa - A Little Slice of Heaven (With a Side of Disappointment)
This is one of the most enticing aspects of the holiday home and I'm happy that I had it fully working! The Spa/sauna offered a well-deserved break from the daily grind. I could not go to the steamroom but I had a delicious experience at the sauna and spa. The massage was divine – I swear I heard my shoulder knots cry with joy. The foot bath was a welcome treat. The Body scrub and Body wrap are also available. The views from the Pool with view are stunning.
(Minor Complaint Alert!) The gym, however, was a letdown. It was tiny, with mostly outdated equipment. I tried the treadmill, it nearly threw me off. I'm not made for cardio, alright?
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: The All-Important Foodie Rundown
Right. Food. This is where things got interesting.
- The Good Stuff: The international cuisine in restaurant was pretty good. I had some amazing seafood. The breakfast [buffet] was decent – good selection, but nothing mind-blowing. I had an Asian breakfast for a change.
- The Weird Stuff: Ok, the room service [24-hour] was a godsend after a long day of… well, existing. Snack bar was a plus for the easy eats.
- The Areas for Improvement: The coffee/tea in restaurant was hit-or-miss. The poolside bar had great cocktails but the bartenders disappeared for long stretches.
- My Epic Food Fail (A Warning!): I tried to order room service one night, a perfectly reasonable meal. Apparently, there was a communication breakdown. I ended up with a dish that tasted vaguely of… seaweed and despair. I didn’t even know that was a flavor profile!
Things To Do, Ways to Relax – Beyond the Beach
- The Positive: The terrace was perfect for sunset cocktails.
- The "Meh" Moments: The Fitness center and Gym/fitness were lackluster.
- The Recommendation: Spend time in the nearby towns, or walk along the beach.
Cleanliness and Safety: A Critical Look
In these COVID-conscious times, this is a biggie.
- The Good News: The place was immaculately clean. I felt safe. Hand sanitizer was readily available. Staff trained in safety protocol. They had the hygiene certification.
- The Oddity: You could room sanitization opt-out available, but… why would you?! I definitely wanted my room sanitized.
- The Practical: Daily disinfection in common areas, Individually-wrapped food options. I have to admit, I appreciated the proactive steps.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things (That Matter)
- The Helpful: The concierge was friendly and helpful. Daily housekeeping kept things shipshape.
- The Minor Annoyances: There wasn’t a convenience store on-site, so you’re reliant on the hotel's offerings or a walk to the local shop.
For the Kids (And the Kid in You)
I don’t have kids, but I saw a few families.
- The Pro: There were kids facilities and a babysitting service.
- The Con: The playground seemed a bit… basic.
The Verdict: Worth It? (With Caveats!)
Look, "Escape to The Hague" isn’t perfect. It has its quirks, its minor flaws, and moments where you're left going, "Huh?"
But… it’s got a certain charm. The beachfront location is unbeatable. The spa is fantastic. And the staff, in general, are lovely.
Would I go back? Maybe. If I could guarantee a room with updated décor, stronger coffee, and no seaweed-infused meals, that is. If you're looking for a truly relaxing escape by the sea, and you're willing to embrace a little bit of imperfections, then yes, you should definitely consider "Escape to The Hague." Just pack your sense of humor, and maybe a backup snack.
(One Last Thing…): Don’t forget to check out the fireplace. It’s worth the trip alone.
Montmarault Seafront Apartment: Your Dream Vacation Awaits!
Alright, buckle up, buttercups, because this ain't your grandma's itinerary. We're talking The Hague, Netherlands, a fireplace, the beach… and hopefully, somehow, sanity. This is how it (probably) actually went down.
Day 1: Arrival, Disappointment, and Determination (Mostly the latter)
1:00 PM: Landing and Luggage Lament. Schiphol Airport. Ugh. Always the worst. You know, the whole "waiting for baggage carousel carousel" thing. Never fails to make me question all my life choices. Finally, a battered suitcase emerges (probably mine!), and I'm off to collect my rental car. Let's hope it's not the size of a shoebox.
2:30 PM: Road Trip Rambles (and Wrong Turns). "GPS lady" (as I affectionately call her, mostly when she guides me into canals) starts bossing me around. The Dutch countryside is utterly charming, all windmills and cows, but my map-reading skills? Let's just say they're aspirational. I take, let's call them "scenic routes." Or maybe, "lost-as-hell routes." Finally, The Hague!
4:00 PM: The Holiday Home – First Impressions (and a Sigh). I find the place, a cute little house with a fireplace, "near the beach." Sounds idyllic, yeah? Well, let's just say "near" is a relative term. It's more like "a brisk 15-minute walk from the beach, if you don't stop to admire the cobblestones." But hey, the fireplace! And it's ours. Time to unleash the unpacking chaos.
4:30 PM: Reality Check. The "fully equipped kitchen" is missing a can opener and a decent skillet. Sigh. The "cosy sofa" is suspiciously lumpy. The internet? Non-existent. Okay, initial disappointment: check.
5:00 PM: Fireplace Fiesta. I spend an embarrassingly long time wrestling with the fireplace. I mean, it's supposed to be the highlight, right? Logs refuse to catch fire. Smoke fills the room. My eyes are watering. I'm starting to look like a villain from a cheesy Victorian novel. But eventually, flames! Success! Time for a celebratory glass of wine.
6:00 PM: Beach Walk (Sort Of). I take my first beach walk, but the wind! It nearly whips me away to England. I see seagulls, they're doing their thing, and I'm already chilled to the bone. But the salty air is nice. Feeling hopeful.
7:30 PM: Dinner Disaster. I get lost in the supermarket and end up buying a bunch of stuff I don't need, and I burned the dinner trying to get the can opener to work. I'm starting to question my culinary prowess.
8:30 PM: Fireplace Bliss (Finally!). Curl up in front of the fireplace with a book. The day is redeemed.
Day 2: Beach, Bikes, and a Burger (Maybe Too Much Burger)
9:00 AM: Breakfast Brusque (and the Search for Caffeine). The coffee machine is a medieval torture device. I discover I'm out of coffee. The day is already off to a rocky start.
10:00 AM: Beach Bliss (Take Two). Armed with a massive coffee, I hit the beach. This time, the sun is shining, the sea is blue, the sand is… sand-like (which I always appreciate). People are walking dogs, kids are building sandcastles, and everything is… lovely. It's what I came for.
12:00 PM: Bike Riding. Well, I rented a bike, one of those that has the basket in front, and I got really confused. Then, I took it to a very busy road. I was nearly hit. I'm not a good biker. Let's be very honest, I'm a terrible biker.
1:00 PM: Burger Bonanza. Lunch – a double cheeseburger, fries, and a milkshake. I eat it all. Regret kicks in immediately after. Why do I do this to myself?
2:30 PM: The Peace Palace. After the burgers, I feel like I need some high culture. Visited the Peace Palace, home to the International Court of Justice. Honestly? A little dry for a post-burger state.
4:00 PM: Art Adventure. I end up going to the Mauritshuis museum. The "Girl with a Pearl Earring" is a must-see. She's even lovelier in person than the hype. The colors, the subtlety… I could stare for hours. And I did.
7:00 PM: Food. Again. Dinner. This time, I managed to avoid burning anything. Small victories.
8:30 PM: Fireplace Reflections. As the day dwindles, I start feeling pretty good. The fire warms me. It's not perfect, but it's my place.
Day 3: Windmills, Wandering, and Wistful Goodbyes
- 9:00 AM: Windmill Wonders. I drive to the windmills. They're iconic. I watch them spin. I buy a cheesy postcard. It's touristy, but I don't care.
- 11:00 AM: Wandering in the City. I explore the city center, with its shops, canals, and old buildings. I buy some stroopwafels. They are delicious.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch and Lament. I sit by the canal. It's all very pleasant. I take a bite of a sandwich and realize I'm starting to feel sad that the vacation is nearly over.
- 3:00 PM: Beach (One Last Time). One last walk on the beach. The wind still bites a little, but I don't mind anymore. I've made my peace with the weather.
- 4:00 PM: Fireplace Farewell. I'm saying goodbye to the fireplace. We have become very well acquainted. I wish I could bring it home with me. Also, I almost set the place on fire. Okay, so we had a complicated relationship, but I'll miss it.
- 5:00 PM: Packing Pain. Packing is the worst. Everything is a mess. I can't find the can opener.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner with the Memory of That First, Terrible One. One last meal to remember the holiday.
- 8:00 PM: Fireplace Finale. One more glass of wine. One last crackle. The flames dance. It was messy, imperfect, occasionally frustrating, but… amazing.
- 9:00 PM: Departure. Getting ready to leave. The car is in the garage, waiting to take me back to reality. It's time to go.
So there you have it. The Hague, fireplaces, beaches, and a whole heap of human-ness. And yes, I wish I could have stayed longer.
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Okay, Fine, Here Are Some FAQs About Escape to The Hague (Because I'm Apparently Required To)
Is the "Stunning Beachfront Holiday Home" really… stunning? I mean, *really*? Because let's be honest, that word gets thrown around.
Oh, man. Okay, look. “Stunning”? Well, it *is* on the beach. Like, practically you could build a sandcastle and then… *poof* tidal wave! So, yeah, the view? Unbeatable. From the balcony you just stare out at the friggin' North Sea and feel… peaceful, mostly. Except the seagulls. Those feathered aerial terrorists. They *will* steal your chips. But the house itself? It's got… character. Let's call it that. Some might say "dated." I'm going to say "charmingly lived-in." There were a *few* quirks, you know? Like the, uh, the weird humming from the fridge at night that sounded like a miniature spaceship taking off. But hey, you can't expect perfection, right? Especially when you're trying to relax ON THE FRICKIN' BEACH! So yeah, "stunning view," maybe "charming" house. I'm still giving it a thumbs up.
What's the deal with the fireplace? Is it romantic? Or just… dusty?
The fireplace. Okay, deep breath. The *fireplace*. Picture this: you're there, the wind's howling outside, you've got a glass of red wine, a fuzzy blanket… and… the fireplace is NOT WORKING. (Insert exasperated sigh here). Turns out, there was a slight *misunderstanding* concerning the instructions. It took us, oh, about 3 hours of fiddling, Googling "how to light a Dutch fireplace" and accidentally setting off the smoke alarm (apologies to the neighbors!), before we finally got the darn thing going. But OH, once it was going? Pure. Bliss. That crackling sound… the warmth… the… the realization that you'd finally conquered the beast. Romantic? Eventually, yes. Dusty? Initially, yes. Stressful? Potentially. Worth it? Absolutely. Just… bring matches and a positive attitude. And maybe a hazmat mask, just in case. Just kidding! (Mostly).
Is it actually *on* the beach? Like, can I roll out of bed and onto the sand? Because that’s my life goal.
YES! You practically *can.* I mean, you don't literally roll out of bed, obviously. Unless...you're *very* dedicated to that life goal. But step out the door, cross a small wooden deck -- the kind that *creeeeeeaks* in a way that makes you think a pirate might materialize -- and BAM! SAND! The beach is *right there*. I spent most of the first day just… staring at it. The sheer proximity is... overwhelming. Like, you're *that* close to the ocean. No awful treks with a million beach bags. No battling crowds. Just… pure, glorious, sandy bliss. I even saw a seal pop its head up! It was majestic (seal pun intended). Though, it probably wanted my chips too.
What's the Wi-Fi like? Because, you know, I can't *completely* disconnect. Got to post those sunset selfies.
Okay, real talk. The Wi-Fi was... variable. Let's say that. "Dependable" wouldn't be the word I'd use. "Present," maybe. It was fine for checking emails and scrolling through Instagram – you’ll get your sunset selfies posted! – but streaming movies? Yeah, that was a bit of a gamble. Think more "buffering" than "binge-watching." But honestly? Maybe that's a good thing. Forces you to, you know, *look at the actual ocean*. And the sunsets? Way better than any screen. So, Wi-Fi: functional, but consider it a chance to actually, you know, *live*. Embrace the signal drops!
Is it good for kids? Like, would my tiny terrors survive?
Kids? Absolutely! (Depending on *your* definition of "survive"). The beach is an endless playground. Building sandcastles, hunting for shells, chasing the waves… pure joy, even if they *do* manage to get sand everywhere. The house itself? It had a certain… *vintage* charm, if you know what I mean. Which means, potentially, a few things that *could* be trouble for tiny, curious hands. Be prepared to childproof. Seriously. But, overall? Yes. Kids will love it. You, the parents? Might need an extra glass of wine after bedtime. Or three.
What's nearby? Are there shops, restaurants, things to do besides staring at the ocean (though I'm not knocking that)?
Okay, so you *do* want to leave the beach, huh? Fair enough! A short walk along the beach (or a quick bike ride – renting a bike is HIGHLY recommended, btw) gets you to some really cute beachside restaurants and cafes. Fresh seafood, yummy stroopwafels… you get the picture. The Hague itself is a short drive away, with all sorts of museums, shops, and… well, more things to see. But honestly? I spent most of my time *on* the beach or staring at the *view* from the deck. There's something utterly captivating about doing absolutely *nothing*. But, yes, if you *must*, there are options.
Is it pet-friendly? Because my dog, Bartholomew, is basically family.
Check with the owners! I'm not entirely sure. Bartholomew sounds like a good boy, and the beach is super dog-friendly… BUT this is a crucial question. I'm guessing that a dog is allowed, but I'd check, especially for any breed restrictions or extra cleaning fees. Don't bring Bartholomew and then get turned away! That would be a disaster. My heart would break if Bartholomew couldn't have his beachfront frolics. Contact the owners, it's the safest bet.
What was the best thing about your stay? Give me the honest truth!
Okay, honest truth? Putting aside *all* the quirks, the slightly-wonky Wi-Fi, the potentially-terrifying fireplace, the best thing? The feeling of being *away*. Truly. Unplugged (ish). Waking up to the sound of the waves. Walking on the beach in the morning with a coffee (or, let's be honest, a *large* coffee). That moment when the sun sets, painting the sky in a riot of colours... that's what I'Low Price Hotel Blog
