Edam's CUTEST Cottage: Your Dream Dutch Escape Awaits!
Edam's CUTEST Cottage: My Dutch Dream… or Did I Dream It? A Rambling Review
Okay, buckle up, buttercups, because I've just returned from a stay at Edam's CUTEST Cottage. And let me tell you, the title is definitely a promise. Whether it’s a promise kept or a promise slightly… warped by reality, well, that’s what we’re here to find out. This isn't your textbook, perfectly-polished review. This is the real deal, warts and all, because honestly, perfection is BORING.
SEO & Metadata (Don't worry, I’ll get to the good stuff!)
- Keywords: Edam, Cottage, Netherlands, Dutch Escape, Accessibility, Spa, Restaurant, Wi-Fi, Family-Friendly, Romance, Cleanliness, Safety, Breakfast, Views, Edam Cheese (…kidding, mostly), Luxury.
Accessibility:
Right, so, let's start with the nitty-gritty. I’m… well, I’m not exactly disabled, but my knees and I have a complicated relationship, especially after a particularly enthusiastic Gouda tasting (more on that delicious disaster later). Accessibility is key, and Edam’s CUTEST Cottage mostly delivers. Facilities for disabled guests are advertised, which is a good start. The elevator was a lifesaver, especially after those windmill climbs. The exterior corridor was straightforward. However, getting to the pool with a view (more on that later) required navigating some cobblestones that felt slightly less charming after the third attempt.
On-site accessible restaurants / lounges: I didn't specifically need them, but it’s good to know those are there in theory.
Wheelchair accessible: Again, I wasn't using a wheelchair, but I did see ramps. So I am going to assume it's good to go.
Important Note: Always double-check specific access needs directly with the cottage before booking.
Internet, Sweet Internet:
Look, in the modern age, solid internet is practically a human right. And thankfully, Edam delivered. Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! Hallelujah! The Internet itself was reliable (essential for Instagramming the cheese-filled goodness, duh). Internet access – LAN and Internet access – wireless were available. I could work, I could stream, I could stalk my ex (just kidding… mostly).
Things to Do (and Maybe Regret):
This is where the magic truly begins. Edam, as you probably deduced from the name, is just adorable. Picture-postcard perfect, with canals, clogs, and enough charm to make even the grumpiest curmudgeon crack a smile. The Cottage itself offers a bunch of things to do.
Ways to Relax:
Ooh, now we’re talking my language. I'm a sucker for a good pampering session.
- Spa: Yes, they have one! Spa/sauna with a steamroom. This was a highlight. I confess, I spent a solid afternoon melting into a cloud of lavender-scented bliss.
- Massage: Oh, the massage! Worth every Euro. You could choose the setting and the pressure, and it was so perfect.
- Fitness center: I intended to use the Gym/fitness, honest! But between the cheese, the stroopwafels, and the gorgeous countryside, my motivation…wavered. Let’s just say I used the Fitness center as a storage unit for half-eaten snacks.
- Pool with view: The swimming pool was beautiful, but the view? Forget about it! It was incredible! The swimming pool [outdoor] was exactly what I needed in the middle of the day, with the temperature being so inviting.
- Also the foot bath and sauna facilities were well-maintained.
- The body scrub and body wrap were perfect after a day of walking.
Cleanliness and Safety: The Covid-Era Dance
Let's be real, we all have pandemic-related baggage now. So, how did the Cottage handle it? Overall, pretty darn well.
- Rooms sanitized between stays.
- Daily disinfection in common areas.
- Hand sanitizer everywhere, I mean everywhere.
- Staff trained in safety protocol.
I did notice the Safe dining setup, and the Sanitized kitchen and tableware items. The Physical distancing of at least 1 meter was mostly observed. I got the feeling they are taking it very seriously!
Dining, Drinking, and Snacking: A Culinary Adventure (and a Few Mishaps):
Okay, food. I lived for food. Edam is a cheese lover's paradise, but the Cottage itself offered a surprisingly diverse dining experience.
- Restaurants, plural! I mean, that’s a win right there.
- A la carte in restaurant: Excellent!
- Asian cuisine in restaurant: Okay, maybe not what you expect in the Netherlands, but hey, I’m adventurous (mostly).
- I had the Asian breakfast and loved it!
- Coffee/tea in restaurant: Always appreciated.
- The bar was lively and perfect for pre-dinner cocktails.
- Breakfast [buffet], and Breakfast service were both excellent!
- Poolside bar: Yep. Crucial.
- Room service [24-hour] was a lifesaver after those aforementioned cheese-induced food comas.
Here's the "Imperfect" Moment:
One night, fuelled by a particularly potent "Jenever" (Dutch gin), I decided to try the Vegetarian restaurant. I ordered the "Mystery Vegetable Surprise". Let's just say surprise was definitely right… I'm still not sure what it was.
Another time, I found a cockroach. It was quickly removed, but it was still a cockroach.
Services and Conveniences: The Little Things That Matter:
The Cottage provided a bunch of services designed to make your stay easier.
- Concierge: Super helpful!
- Cash withdrawal: handy.
- Daily housekeeping. The room was sparkling clean every day.
- They had a convenience store!
- The dry cleaning came in handy.
- Laundry service, Luggage storage, and Safety deposit boxes are always welcome.
For the Kids (and the Inner Child in All of Us):
The Cottage is Family/child friendly.
- Babysitting service available. Very useful!
- It has Kids facilities and Kids meal available.
The Room: My Sanctuary (Mostly):
Let’s talk about the actual space you’ll be spending the night in.
- Air conditioning: THANK GOD.
- Alarm clock, Bathrobes, Bathroom phone, Bathtub, Blackout curtains: The essentials.
- Complimentary tea: YES!
- Desk: For… well, I never actually used it.
- Free bottled water: Always a nice touch.
- Hair dryer.
- In-room safe box: Peace of mind.
- Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless: (See above – crucial).
- Laptop workspace: (See desk comment above)
- Mini bar: Dangerous. Deliciously dangerous.
- Non-smoking: A breath of fresh air (literally).
- Private bathroom.
- Refrigerator. Perfect for the cheese!
- Satellite/cable channels.
- Separate shower/bathtub, and Shower.
- Smoke detector.
- Sofa.
- Wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], Window that opens
The “Quirky Observation” Section (Because Life Isn't Always Smooth Sailing):
- The Lack of Cheese in the Room: I mean, come on! This is Edam! A small welcome cheese platter wouldn’t go amiss.
- The Cobblestones: Those sneaky cobblestones! After a few too many "stroopwafels," they become a hazard.
- The Cockroach, (I already said it).
- The Soundproofing: While they advertise Soundproof rooms. The walls were thin. I could hear the neighbors' conversation and the occasional snoring.
Emotional Reactions: The highs, the lows, and the Gouda-induced euphoria
The highs? The spa, the views from the pool (when you could see them!), the sheer charm of Edam. The lows? The “Mystery Vegetable Surprise," the cobblestones, and the lack of cheese in my room.
Getting Around:
- Airport transfer, which I didn’t use.
- The Car park [free of charge] was a lifesaver.
Conclusion: Would I Recommend Edam's CUTEST Cottage?
Yes! Absolutely, yes, with a few caveats. It’s charming, it’s comfortable, it’s well-located,
Ceredigion Coastal Escape: Pennant United Garden Getaway!
Edam & Volendam: My Gloriously Chaotic Dutch Adventure (Or, How I Learned to Love Smelly Cheese)
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because this ain't your Instagram-perfect travel guide. This is the raw, unfiltered truth about my trip to Edam and Volendam, Netherlands, and trust me, it was more "charmingly disheveled" than "perfectly picturesque." We're talkin' cheese-induced existential crises, near-disasters with bicycles, and a healthy dose of Dutch directness that almost sent me back to the airport.
Day 1: Arrival & The Promise of Edam (and a Tiny Hotel Room)
- 14:00 - Schiphol Airport Debriefing: Landed! Amsterdam's foggy embrace was… well, foggy. The flight was a blur of crying babies and questionable airplane food. My luggage, thankfully, arrived with me. Small victories. Took the train to Edam (the Netherlands is so efficient with their transport!).
- 15:30 - Arrival at "The Charming House" (Emphasis on "Charming," Questionable on "House"). Okay, let's be honest. "Charming House" was, in reality, a very old, very narrow, and VERY crooked building in the heart of Edam. My room? Miniature. Like, I’m pretty sure I touched all four walls simultaneously. But hey! It had a window overlooking a canal, which immediately quelled my claustrophobia. For about five minutes.
- 16:00 - First Impression of Edam: Right, Edam. Picture this: cobbled streets, canals brimming with ducks (judging my every move, I swear), and houses that lean so dramatically, they look like they're about to topple into the water. Utterly adorable. I wandered around, feeling… slightly lost. But in a good way. Like a tiny, bewildered, and slightly jet-lagged explorer.
- 17:00 - The Cheesemonger's Revelation: Found a cheese shop. Of course. This is Edam, after all. The aroma hit me first. A rich, pungent, glorious assault on the senses. The shopkeeper, a woman who exuded the air of someone who had tasted every cheese known to humankind, offered me a sample of… well, I've no idea what it was. Some kind of very old, very strong Edam. My eyes watered. My soul, however, was instantly at peace. Cheese. It's the answer.
- 18:00 - Dinner Disaster (aka, Trying Not to Screw Up the Local Cuisine): I attempted to order dinner at a cute little canal-side restaurant. I ended up with a plate of… I don't know… fried things? I think deep-fried vegetables? I swear, I ordered something else. But hey, it provided sustenance. And a good story, right? My attempt at ordering in Dutch was less than stellar. The waitress looked at me like I'd sprouted a second head.
- 19:00 - Evening Canal Walk (and a Near-Fatal Encounter with a Bicycle): Decided to go for a romantic evening stroll along the canals. Romantic until a speeding bicycle, piloted by a Dutch grandmother, nearly took me out. I swear, those bikes are lethal. I think it was a Dutch test of resilience. I survived.
- 20:00 - Back to the Tiny Room, Contemplating Cheese, Life, and Why My Shoes Won't Dry: Collapsed into my miniature room, utterly exhausted. The cheese shop aroma seemed to have permeated my very being. Started to question my life choices. Why didn't I learn Dutch beforehand? Why did I wear these stupid shoes that are now soaked? Ended the day with a second piece of cheese (because, you know, existential crisis mitigation).
Day 2: Volendam's Colorful Chaos & The Great Pancake Debate
- 09:00 - Breakfast (and the Ongoing Quest for Coffee): "Breakfast" consisted of some sad-looking bread and instant coffee in my tiny room. The coffee was weak. My resolve, however, was strong. I needed a proper coffee, and I was prepared to endure anything to get it.
- 10:00 - Edam's Market (And the Realization I Need More Cowbell): Visited the Edam market! Local produce, fresh flowers, and the overwhelming desire to buy absolutely EVERYTHING. I almost purchased a pair of wooden clogs, but thought better of it. After all, I'd just barely survived the bicycle incident. I've never been so tempted by the sheer charm of small-town life.
- 11:00 - Bus to Volendam (And the Discovery of Dutch Directness): Took a bus trip to Volendam. A colorful town on the water, famous for its fishing heritage. The bus ride itself was an experience. The bus driver? A formidable woman with a face that could curdle milk. She gave me the most withering look because I didn't have the correct change. I fumbled around. Her look said, "Seriously, have you ever lived?"
- 11:30 - Volendam: A Riot of Color (and Crowds): Volendam is… busy. Very busy. Picturesque with its harbor, brimming with boats, women in traditional dresses, and enough tourists to fill, well, a harbor. It's like stepping into a postcard. And it's loud.
- 12:00 - Harbour Walk and the Great Fish Debacle: Walked along the bustling harbour. The aroma of fried fish was intoxicating. Decided to attempt to purchase some. "Een haring met uitjes," I said proudly. The woman behind the stall blinked. "You want what?" Turns out, my pronunciation was atrocious. I ended up with something… fishy. And covered in onions. It was delicious though.
- 13:00 - The Pancake Showdown: I found a pancake house! I'm a pancake fanatic, and this was non-negotiable. The pancakes were the size of my head, slathered in butter and syrup. Pure, unadulterated joy. I consumed two (maybe three). And I'm not ashamed. It was the peak of my culinary experience. It was more important than winning the lottery, finding true love, or discovering the secrets of the universe.
- 14:00 - Costume Conundrum (or, Why I'm Not a Local): I went for a walk along the harbor and was tempted by a "photo booth." I looked at the traditional costumes. I had a solid thought about this: a hat, a baggy pant, and a button-down. But I'm too darn awkward, or maybe I just have too much ego, to participate.
- 15:00 - Return to Edam, Re-evaluating Life Choices Over Another Piece of Cheese: Back to Edam. Back to my tiny room. Back to contemplation. I ate yet another piece of cheese. Maybe two. This cheese-induced zen state was becoming a habit.
- 16:00 - The Great Bicycle Debacle (Take Two): I rented a bicycle. I attempted to ride it. I nearly careened into a canal. I almost ran over a flock of ducks. I managed to return the bicycle in one piece (mostly). I'm convinced the Dutch are born knowing how to ride a bike. I am not.
- 17:00 - Last walk through Edam. Goodbye to the canals and the windmills. Goodbye to the cheese (Not!). I walked around, trying to soak in the charm of Edam. The light on the water. The crooked houses. The smell of cheese. It was time to find some more.
- 18:00 - Departure: Back to the airport. This time I knew what to expect. I bought more cheese. I'll never forget Edam. Edam and Volendam. I've never done anything like it. It was, without question, an unforgettable adventure.
The Verdict:
Did everything go according to plan? Absolutely not. Did I look like a fool more than once? Definitely. Did I learn a lot about cheese? Absolutely. Did I have an amazing time? Hell yes. My Dutch adventure was messy, chaotic, and utterly perfect. I'll be back. Next time, I'm bringing my own bicycle and a translator. And maybe, just maybe, a suitcase full of cheese.
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Edam's CUTEST Cottage: Your Dream Dutch Escape - FAQs (Because Let's Face It, You'll Need 'Em!)
Okay, So... Is This Place *Actually* As Cute as the Photos? Because My Life Depends on It.
Alright, deep breaths. Yes. Mostly. The photos, they're good – *very* good. They capture the crooked charm, the gabled roofs, the... well, the sheer *cuteness* of the place. But let me tell you, standing there in person? It's like... being wrapped in a warm hug by a giant, slightly lopsided gingerbread cookie. Seriously, I almost cried when I saw the front door. (Don't judge! I'd had a long flight). It's a *vibe*. There's this little gnome on the windowsill... I swear he winked at me. So, yeah. It's cute. Prepare your camera roll for an absolute massacre of photos.
Tell Me About the Location! Is It Actually *In* Edam?
Oh, honey, you're *in* Edam. Like, smack-bang in the middle of all the cheese-wheel-rolling, canal-side charm. The cottage itself? Well, it's a pleasant stumble away from everything you'd imagine. You’re practically tripping over clogs and windmills (not literally, please be careful!). The cheese market, when it's on, is a sensory overload – the smells, the sounds, the sheer *yellow-ness* of it all. Seriously, I got lost in a swarm of cheese vendors for a good twenty minutes. Totally worth it. Getting back to the cottage was a bit of a challenge, though. Let me tell you about that...
How's the Parking Situation? I'm Bringing a... Large Vehicle. (Okay, It's a Monstrous SUV)
*laughs maniacally* Okay, about that... Unless your "monstrous SUV" is also a time-traveling Tardis that can teleport, you're going to have a *challenging* time. Edam is not designed for oversized vehicles. Honestly, finding parking anywhere near the cottage is a Herculean task. I ended up walking about a mile from the closest public parking spot. Consider yourself warned. Embrace the bike life! The cottage *might* have a bike or two, or renting one is a *very* good idea. Or, you know, develop superior parking Jedi skills. Good luck!
What About Wi-Fi? Because, You Know, Real Life.
The Wi-Fi is... present. It's there. Sometimes. Look, let's be real, this isn't the Burj Khalifa. It's a charming, centuries-old cottage. The Wi-Fi can be a bit temperamental. Think of it as a digital detox disguised as a technical hiccup. Embrace the slower pace! Read a book! Stare out the window at those adorable ducks! (They're judging you, by the way.) I actually spent *more* time staring at the ducks than I did scrolling through Instagram, and you know what? It was glorious. Seriously, the ducks were the highlight. They had a whole soap opera playing out in the canal. Never have I been so invested in duck drama!
Is the Kitchen Well-Equipped? I Love Cooking! (Or at Least, Pretending To.)
The kitchen is...functional. Don't expect Michelin-star equipment, but you'll find the essentials. It has the basics for preparing a simple meal. I think I made some scrambled eggs in there. The charm of the cottage really kicked in when I looked for a cheese grater, its like the cottage has a personality that is not all there and sometimes it would love to help you, and sometimes you're on your own. Also, be prepared to sharpen your cleaning skills. It's a small space and you feel like you're constantly tidying up, that's life though. It's perfect for throwing together some Gouda and a lovely cup of tea while you sit beside the fire, which by the way is so real.
Okay, Spill the Tea: What's The Best Part? And, Let's Be Honest, What's The Worst?
Okay, the best part? Ugh, it's impossible to pick just one! Waking up to the gentle sound of the canal, the smell of fresh stroopwafels wafting through the air... The overall *vibe* is just magic. It really is. The worst part? Honestly, the stairs. Those Dutch stairs are steep! I think they were designed specifically to test my fitness level. Seriously, I almost face-planted carrying a suitcase up those things. And the low ceilings! I'm not particularly tall, but I still had to duck in a few places. But hey, charm comes with a price, right? And for that charm, it had a price worth paying. It was perfect. I miss it.
Would you go back?
In a heartbeat. If my wallet could handle it, I'd live there. I may need to sell my kidneys. Seriously, it's that good. Just... pack light. And learn to love those ducks. They'll be your new best friends.
How about the bed? Is it comfy?
The bed... okay. It's not the *best* bed I've ever slept in... but it's comfy enough after a long day of cheese-tasting and canal-side wandering. The comforter was divine though. The sheets were clean. It's a bed, in a cozy cottage! I slept. I slept well enough. More than enough to dream about ducks and cheese.
